An unforgettable “golden” time - studying at a university: funny statuses they will talk about students about which cheat sheet the teacher will not notice and how to celebrate the upcoming holiday. Funny sayings will tell you how not to oversleep a class or survive a session. Statuses about students are an amazing section of folk art, which is updated daily. Snarky jokes and sparkling sayings immediately become stereotyped. For medical students, finding a suitable status will be easiest: just watch the next episode of a popular series. You can find funny statuses about students for students of other specialties on thematic websites. Change your statuses at least every day, showing your friends and acquaintances your mood and hobbies. Such statuses about students as “I am not for anyone, exams!” or “All notes are urgently needed” is a clear sign that your friend is tightly hooked on studying.
If you sit for forty minutes, staring blankly at a blank page in Word, it means you are writing a thesis.
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I'll get up early in the morning and drink a cup of mercury. And I’m going to die in this institute!
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The holiday is coming to us, the holiday is coming to us! It brings joy to students who are awake, the fear of expulsion is always real! :)
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As long as there are dumplings and mayonnaise in this universe, Russian students are invincible.
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Previously, when I was at school, I was lazy and did everything on the last day. Now I'm studying at university and have become even lazier - I do everything on the last night...
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Pray, teacher, for the day of judgment will come, and may your kingdom perish, and may you be rewarded for our torment... Gospel from a Student, verse five...
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1st year student - at least they wouldn’t kick him out! At 2 - now they probably won’t kick you out. At 3 - now they definitely won’t kick you out! For 4 - just let them try! At 5 - yes, I’ll kick out whoever you want!
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Tired students are sleeping, books are sleeping. Evil teachers are waiting for the kids with a test. The harmful lecturer goes to bed so that he can dream about us at night. Close your eyes - Za-bi-wai!
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A student walks, sways, sighs as he goes. The session ends and I go on a binge...
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Student! If your conscience asks you to study, answer it that it’s not the end of the semester yet, and calmly go drink!)
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Sitting behind bars in a damp dorm... Raised in captivity... A young student...
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This is how you study, study, and then from conflict management you find out that you are a neurotic with suicidal tendencies, experiencing an existential crisis...
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I woke up, made the bed, shaved, washed, had breakfast, got ready for school, and then thought: “What the hell am I doing?”, undressed and went to bed. It's good to be a student.
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- I am a student. I work part-time at night, but I can’t sleep during lectures. What should I do? - Count the sheep that go to lectures with you.
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Professor: "Are you afraid of my questions?" Student: “No, I’m afraid of my answers.”
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At the exam in criminal law. - Can you tell me what deception is? - This will happen, professor, if you fail me. - Explain how. - According to the criminal code, deception is committed by someone who, taking advantage of the ignorance of another person, causes damage to that other person.
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A student can instantly calculate only three things: 1. how much money he has left; 2. how much is left until the end of the pair; 3. how many days until the scholarship.
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We drink in different doses. We fall asleep in different positions. We remember different moments. This is all called the word "students"!
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The student does not understand at first, but then gets used to it.
Lately, instead of preparing for exams, students have been searching the Internet for cool statuses about the session, exams, and what it will be like tomorrow
ass.
Only such a unique creature as a student can spend six months in order to prepare for passing any exam overnight with the help of a thin manual.
– The student is asked: “Have you prepared anything for the upcoming exam? - Certainly! Faith, hope and record book :)”
The student does not know the norms of decency, decentness is alien to him, and like the males of the genus Homo sapiens, he can only get drunk. 🙂
Best status:
The understanding that you are already a student comes when your first-grader brother asks you to solve a problem, and you see its solution through an integral.
During the exam: - Well, are you going to answer or not? - Comrade student, stop explaining! Pull the ticket. - And I have a travel card!
If you decide to suppress the suddenly surging student movement, then think about it! Perhaps you are pushing the disease inside? Don't be afraid to face the truth.
Instead of preparing for tomorrow's tests, I'm reading this text.
It's difficult to study in the first year for the first few years, but then it will be easier!
I draw the word “ENOUGH” in the dean’s office with Vaseline.
Only our student may not know the schedule, but know exactly when there are no classes!)
Ambition is when you go to an exam, you think you know a 2, and when they give you a 4, you wonder why not a 5?
Students are strange animals... While normal animals have tails from their ass, they have ass from their tails.
Student joke: Once upon a time there were three pigs: nyuf-nyuf, naf-naf and the cafe manager...
Student toast to parents: “To those who think we study here!”
Give the student a point of support and he will fall asleep.)
During the session, the student becomes a superman. He stops eating, sleeping, drinking liquids that do not contain alcohol and, like a supercomputer, is able to download an unreal amount of information into himself.
nothing makes a student's expression as meaningless as receiving a ticket during an exam!))
A distinctive feature of a student: I didn’t know, but I remembered!))
A student cannot get married. If he only cares about his wife, he will have tails. If he only studies, he will have horns. And he will do both... he will throw off his hooves!)
Love the teacher, for the dog is man's friend!
I’ll get up early in the morning, drink a cup of mercury and go die in the fucking institute :)
Conscience is a person’s wealth, and we, students, are poor people.. =)
Doing nonsense at the institute develops hearing, alertness and peripheral vision)))
I won't set an alarm. Let the Lord decide whether to go to the first couple or not.
Tired students are sleeping, books are sleeping... Evil teachers are waiting for the guys with a test... The harmful lecturer goes to bed so that we can dream about it at night... Close your eyes - ZA-BI-VAY!
The session is the time when the epiphany comes that “after all, it was possible to study normally throughout the whole year”!..
Knowledge is not transmitted sexually, but it is quite possible to earn a grade!
Session is a masculine word. Because no woman could fuck so many people!
The session is a sudden interest of students in books, a feverish search for a library card, which no one has seen since the last session.
A session is when a teacher learns a lot of new things about his subject from students who “didn’t finish their studies a little.”
Pray, teacher, for the day of judgment will come, and may your kingdom perish, and may you be rewarded for our torment... Gospel from a Student, verse five...
A session is the time when a student needs to take hold of his head... his upper head...
Study, study and study again, because you still won’t find a job.
A student has 2 states: Eating and sleeping. But there is also a third thing - a session: when you don’t eat or sleep.
The school year is like pregnancy - it lasts 9 months, and you start feeling sick from the 2nd week...
An old student tradition: every year my friends and I go to a session. Well, let’s steam there...((
If you want to study, lie down, sleep and everything will pass.))
Teacher in class: “In our time, all sorts of graffiti were not painted on the walls of houses!” A voice from the back desk: “Well, of course, dinosaurs couldn’t write!” 🙂
The girl is a student, a sweet candy... During the lecture, a stool stuck to her butt.
Only our student may not recognize the teacher to whom he passed the exam yesterday.
5 years at the institute flew by like 5 minutes. I had enough patience, now let others shake it!
The depth of the neckline on the dress of a student who came to take an exam is inversely proportional to the depth of her knowledge.
We drink in different doses. We fall asleep in different positions. We remember different moments. This is all called “students”!
So we lasted a month...
A student always needs one night to pass the exam.
The student does not understand at first, but then gets used to it.
If a student said “I didn’t take it,” it means he won’t return it.
New super hero “Man – Student”. He manages to accomplish as many feats in January as he should have done in September, October, November and December.
So let's drink to those who are walking, to those who know nothing and to those who pass their exams on a boom!
Today the couple was attended by 38 people. The teacher's sheet, which was passed down the rows where those present were registering, contained 52 people. Do students have a conscience?
A frightened student during an exam, holding a piece of paper with a written answer: - P-p-professor, huh... should I scratch my hand? Professor sarcastically: - Well, scratch it, if it helps...
Sitting behind bars in a raw dorm... Raised in captivity... A young student...
This is how you study, study, and then from conflict management you find out that you are a neurotic with suicidal tendencies, experiencing an existential crisis...
If there is noise and fighting somewhere. If there are bottles being broken. If the women screamed. So the students drink there.
– Do you know that unclean cockroaches have students in their rooms?
Oh, how the boys at the university congratulated us today. A song with a guitar, champagne with fireworks. And, since we don’t have many boys, they gave us each a man. Mm.)
Night. Needed to go to the toilet. I turned off the lights and screen so as not to wake up my mother. I open the door: “Oh-oh.” Damn, speakers...
If we are expelled from the university, we will hand over the bottles and enter the paid department!
– Student, are you really that smart? - Who am I? - Well, not me.
The most beautiful phrase from a teacher’s mouth for a student: “Bring your record book”!
Where are the best parties? In the teachers' back room!
The inscription on the desk in the student auditorium: “30 minutes left until the break, 20 minutes, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 3 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute, damn it... No break!”
Russian students will first do their business and then get on with their studies.
O Great Student! Do not snore during a lecture, for you will wake up your neighbor who is sleeping next to you, and when he wakes up, he will not rejoice.
Reflections of a hungry student: “Why eat something like this in a dorm for free?” Water. Electricity. Neighbours.
Only our student can come to a class sober and leave drunk.
The cop asks the student who has studied for his documents. - Just a pass to the university. – Are there any prohibited items? - In the University?
Graduated means half a year of brain torture and 15 minutes of shame...
There are no hungry students! There are only those who are always hungry...
Student tea. No tea leaves. Sugarless.
Professor: “Are you afraid of my questions?” Student: “No, I’m afraid of my answers.”
A student is a unique creature who needs six months to learn any material overnight.
Check the grade assigned for your submitted work without leaving the lecturer. If you don’t like the assessment, demand its replacement with a better one or the right to rewrite the work. And remember: the student is always right!
Popular sign: if there are a bunch of students near the ATM, it means either a scholarship has arrived or the session has begun.)
How quickly time flies: I didn’t have time to wake up, but I’m already a couple late...
I'm looking for a woman who knows how to cook. About me: hungry student.
Hungry students lie and dream: “Well, guys, let’s get a pig.” There will be meat, lard... - What are you talking about? Dirt, stink! - It’s okay, she’ll get used to it...
The thought of every schoolchild: “Why do we study for nine months and rest for only three, and not vice versa?”
Students are always one day short of preparing for the exam!
It is normal for students to look at their watches. It's not normal when they start putting them to their ear.
Who wasn't a student? He won't understand. How I want sex, how I want to sleep. I really want to tell the teacher to fuck off. Go home and don’t care about anything!
A student walks, sways, sighs as he goes. The session ends and I go on a binge...
Teacher: “What is your last name?” Student: “Ivanov.” (Smiles). “Why are you smiling?” - asks the professor. – I’m glad that I answered the first question well.
Life of a student: morning, feet, slippers, faucet, feet, door, walk in the morning, beer, vodka 2 buckets, noise, head, fall, lie, arms, legs, house, bed, bad, night, dark, dope, morning , feet, slippers, faucet... :)
Students are people balancing between the army and higher education.
I woke up, made the bed, shaved, washed, had breakfast, got ready for study, and then thought: “What the hell am I doing?”, undressed and went to bed, it’s good to be a student.
On the criminal law exam. – Can you tell me what deception is? “This will happen, professor, if you fail me.” – How, please explain. – According to the criminal code, deception is committed by someone who, taking advantage of the ignorance of another person, causes harm to that other person.
Teacher: “What is your last name?” Student: “Ivanov” (smiles). “Why are you smiling?” - asks the professor. – I’m glad that I answered the first question well.
All students with our professional holiday! Today we can do anything!
The newest method for developing the memory of history students. Relevant before the session. “Group for the Liberation of Labor”: Plekhanov, Ignatiev, Zasulich, Deitz, Axelrod. Read only capital letters of group members. It’s impossible not to remember!
A student going up to his home on the 9th floor believed until the last moment that the smell of chicken was coming from his apartment.
For the sake of a grade, a student will do anything! Even for classes!
Still, the strangest and most unusual animals are... Students! All normal animals have a tail growing out of their asses, but students have asses growing out of their tails.
At the university, having nothing to do, I go to ICQ to somehow diversify the boring couple...
Why can't a student get married? Because if he takes care of his wife, he will have tails. And if he engages in tails, he will develop horns. And if he’s busy with both his wife and his studies, he’ll kick back.
A student comes to hand in his work and says to the teacher: “Excuse me, I’m on fumes.” And he tells him: “Yes, my wife also fed me cutlets with garlic.”
If you sit for forty minutes, staring blankly at a blank page in Word, it means you are writing a thesis.
Passed! For three. At first I thought I should pass with five, but then I decided, what for? I’d rather rent it out for 3, and use the rest of the money to go and drink beer!
Eh, studying. The most fun time in the life of a still young, green organism, which, as it should be, still knows nothing and lives every day as if it were its last. During their studies, funny and ridiculous stories constantly happen to students, some of which are so exciting that they can not only be described in funny anecdotes, but also made into a film based on the script of the story. Regarding the film, I may have gone a little overboard, however, nevertheless, school time is always remembered only by the jokes that happen almost every day.
If we take the humorous component of studying, you can find many anecdotes, caricatures and funny comics on this topic. Aphorisms about study and students also popular with readers, especially the younger generation. Aphorisms about studying and students can not only make you laugh, but also make you think deeply about the problem mentioned in the joke. They are like cool aphorisms about work, which, in addition to fun, carry a colossal semantic load.
Aphorisms about teachers
A person does not become a student right away. First, he will have to go to school, which also leaves a significant imprint on his later life. Therefore smiling aphorisms about teachers also take place in the humorous field. Funny, and sometimes even completely intoxicating aphorisms about teachers most often capture a certain pearl of teaching staff that is able to jump out at the most unpredictable moment. Aphorisms about teachers are funny, because sometimes a teacher is able to explain sheer nonsense with a serious face, trying to teach something to his students.
At school, the student becomes an adult and independent. Exactly because of this reason aphorisms about school not only funny, but also instructive. Catchphrase“He will go to the board” often caused attacks of fear in all students, even those who had learned the subject the day before.
Do you need aphorisms for schoolchildren? Or is it enough just to have a theme of children's aphorisms, in which you can simply include a topic about school? In my opinion, aphorisms need a separate topic about school. Funny aphorisms about teachers are much more fun than children's aphorisms, since teachers, who also sometimes have an excellent sense of humor, strive to get weird together with the children.
So we found out what we need funny aphorisms about school. They can explain the problems that arise in school in a funny way and give an instructive lesson to the younger generation. A similar mission is assigned to short aphorisms about love, which, in a fun, relaxed form, can reveal and help solve the problems that befall lovers at different stages of a relationship.
