An emotional or psychological anchor is an effective way to influence your mood when needed. It is enough just to touch a certain part of your body, and the desired mood will quickly take possession of you. You can “anchor” yourself to creativity, to feeling happy, to femininity, to determination - to any positive emotion and state.
Each of us usually has an abundance of emotional anchors. And we often do not suspect that it is their doing, when one melody, smell, shape causes a whole cascade of sensations, and not always pleasant ones. We acquired most of our “anchors” in childhood and adolescence. And all our lives they “tie” us to certain emotions. As soon as we see or feel such an emotional anchor, we begin to experience the same emotions as in the situation when it was placed. For example, the smell of pies immediately transports us to the atmosphere of comfort and trust that reigned in our grandmother’s house. Such a binding can be any sensations that we receive through all the senses: smell, touch, vision, hearing.
Not all anchors are pleasant. Negative emotions also easily “anchor” in our body and mind. Sometimes something instantly changes our mood for the worse, and we don’t even suspect that some kind of trigger just went off, which we didn’t even notice at the time. And now, as soon as we see a certain object, hear a certain phrase or smell, we begin to experience emotions similar to those that we had at a not very pleasant moment or period of our life.
At your own request
The authors of the neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) method decided to use this feature of the human psyche for peaceful purposes. Since an emotional anchor is so easy to form spontaneously, then why can’t you do it of your own free will?
And tactile sensations were proposed as the most reliable attachment for psychological consolidation. This is simpler and more visual when compared with other channels of sensory perception - vision, hearing, smell.
Starting point
- An important point is to choose where in the body to place the anchor. It should be a place that is appropriate to touch in public.
- That is, choosing the armpit as such a point is probably not very convenient. Pulling the hair on the top of your head is also not a good option, it can look weird. But touching the tip of your nose or earlobe is appropriate almost always and everywhere.
- However, let it be a place that is not often touched by other people. If you are a massage therapist, then the anchors on your palms will be constantly activated when working with a patient.
- However, perhaps an anchor on the index finger, for example, which “attaches” the feeling of joy from performing a massage, on the contrary, will help you get more pleasure from work and become more successful in it. In general, it’s worth thinking through everything in advance so that you feel comfortable later.
Full program
When the “mount” for the anchor is selected, we determine what emotion or skill it will hold and activate. Let it be joy - for example.
Now we remember when we experienced joy in our lives most vividly and again mentally return to this moment. We experience it in every detail. We feel the same as then. This is simply necessary, otherwise the anchor will not work. In creating psychological anchors, it is emotions that play the main role. Let the great joy you once experienced wash over you again, fill every corner of your body, every cell of it.
And finally, when you find yourself at the peak of joy, click on the selected place. That's it - the process is completed, the anchor has been created.
Now, as soon as you want to feel joyful again, you just need to click on this place - and pleasant emotions will be with you. After some time, you can test whether the anchor is well secured. We press and wait for the desired emotions to appear. If they are not there or they are too weak, we go through the process of creating a binding again. And then, when we find ourselves in a stressful situation, for example, before an important meeting, we arrange a control check. Everything worked out? The anchor is working!
Carefully…
You can anchor not only on yourself, but also on another person. If, for example, your loved one is this moment satisfied and relaxed, you can consolidate this state by touching some place. And then, when you touch him, he will instantly calm down even during a quarrel. Moreover, he will associate pleasant sensations with your touch, that is, with you. This is a manipulative technique, and everyone decides for themselves whether it is worth using it.
Good Mood Method
As for your own anchors, the advantage of this psychological tool is obvious. It helps to cope with apathy, bad mood, sadness, and become inspired. Emotional attachments can make us bolder and more decisive at the right time.
This is an excellent means of switching your consciousness to a positive attitude, to joyful and kind thoughts. After all, it has long been proven that how we live directly depends on what our thoughts are. But sometimes breaking out of the cycle of unpleasant thoughts can be difficult. And a psychological anchor helps to do this quickly.
Essentially, an emotional anchor is our quick access to the internal resources of our subconscious. It helps us cope with life's difficulties and become stronger.
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The topic of anchoring is actively discussed today. Indeed, it is convenient: to evoke the right emotions and moods at the moment when you need it. Anchors help you quickly get into a working state, focus on the main thing, and switch in any situation. But it turns out that you can use this technique even more widely, and, for example, anchor a man on yourself. That is, to form a clear connection between your loved one and yourself.
NLP: anchoring men and women
Anchoring comes from NLP and has become firmly established in everyday life. It is used to enter the flow state and achieve the desired resource state. so I will say briefly:
Anchors are persistent associations associated with a specific external stimulus and help to quickly switch from one mood to another.
This associative feature of the technique is convenient to use in relationships. There are many benefits:
- strengthening the connection between a man and a woman;
- quick way out of conflict situations or preventing them;
- long-term positive relationships;
- easy reconciliation;
- creating a sincere atmosphere in a couple.
Techniques: anchoring a man
The anchoring technique in relationships with a man is no different from anchoring women. The essence is the same - creating a binding based on kinetic, auditory, visual or other influence.
The most common techniques:
- Tactile. Touching, kissing or hugging at the peak of positive emotions. For example, shaking a wrist or stroking a shoulder in a moment of happiness, joy, or even while laughing. By repeating this movement many times - from 10 to 30 times - you can subsequently use the selected gesture to calm your loved one in moments of anger and rage.
- Visual. Many families have their own “sexy” outfits or “I don’t want sex today” items. They appear over time on their own, but you can also program them. For example, seduce a man in stockings, only in red lingerie or a provocatively short skirt. Then this or even a similar outfit will evoke only thoughts. And they will definitely be unchaste.
- Smells. There are many fragrances today, and you can easily choose the one that will be just “yours.” Then even a drop of perfume can remind a man of pleasant moments together. Scented candles, seasonings, and the smells of ready-made delicious dishes have a similar effect.
- Music. The term “our song” as an element of lyrics and memories is often found both in cinema and in everyday life. But this is also an anchor. Additionally, you can anchor a man with kind words when meeting or saying goodbye, some invented nicknames, code phrases.
Anchoring a man to himself: examples
The system of anchoring men in the Vedas works very well. No, there will be no advertising for this movement, just facts.
The Vedas anchor very powerfully. Essentially they are built on this. Algorithm of a woman’s behavior (affectionate, understanding, caring), appearance(long skirts, hair), food (emphasis on vegetarianism, special selection of dishes) everything is designed to anchor a man.
And it does work.
Families with long-term relationships can also serve as an example of anchoring. Their anchors were formed throughout their life together and you can learn from this:
- affectionate nicknames;
- hugs, half-hugs, stroking;
- morning, evening, and weekend rituals;
- paired habits.
Anchoring: life hacks of a modern woman
The simplest and most effective advice is to be yourself, but a little unique. From the first day of communication with the man you like, introduce your own rules of relationships and love.
Surprise. Be memorable. But don't work according to crude Internet schemes. Believe me, men read women's articles too.
Options for unexpected atypical, but positively memorable behavior could be:
- gesture when meeting or saying goodbye - including touching;
- sayings, special words - but without fanaticism;
- appearance – skirt, hairstyle, makeup features;
- smell - rare perfume;
- actions – juice for brotherhood, “clinking” coffee.
In the future, you can add unexpected habits and connections:
- give a bottle of wine “for reconciliation”;
- collect a necklace of sexual achievements;
- come up with affectionate, exciting, memorable nicknames;
- develop an algorithm for meetings and farewells;
- find “your” music.
There are plenty of options. Almost all elements of life can be used to create anchors. But for reliable fixation it is necessary either a bright, powerful emotional outburst, or repeated repetition.
Anchoring will not happen on its own.
And, yes, all these methods work on women too.
If you think that the title of the article has a maritime theme, then you are mistaken. Anchoring is an established term that is used in psychology as an element of neurolinguistic programming. The anchor itself acts as a stimulus that causes a strong associative connection at the emotional level.
So, let's gradually understand anchors, NLP and related issues.
Neurolinguistic programming is not a science, but a set of applied techniques used in practical psychology. The most commonly used NLP techniques are:
- psychologists and time managers;
- lecturers, tutors and lawyers;
- actors, writers and journalists.
Of course, traders and top managers claim that they are all fluent in NLP methods. Essentially, neurolinguistic programming is communication skills, knowing and applying which you can influence the opinion of the person making the decision.
Practicing psychologists actively use NLP techniques to treat severe emotional states, get rid of phobias, and rehabilitate patients after suffering psychological trauma.
The basis for the development of neuro-linguistic programming was cognitive psychology, which studies the cognitive processes of the human psyche. Cognitive psychology studies issues related to memory, attention, feelings, thinking, perception and imagination. Accordingly, all kinds of incentives become its main tools. In our case, this stimulus is the anchor.
A brief excursion into history
Anchoring is the key to managing emotions. What does it have to do with conscious management. Many people mistakenly confuse anchors with reflexes. There is a significant difference between an anchor and a reflex. To set an anchor, one strong experience, an emotional state, is enough, while an associative connection in the case of developing a reflex appears as a result of repeated reproduction of a chain of certain actions. Scientifically speaking, a reflex is a physiological reaction, and an anchor is an emotional one.
At school we were told about academician Pavlov, who experimented on dogs. So Ivan Petrovich did nothing bad to the dogs. By the way, the scientist built enclosures at his own expense and purchased provisions for the dogs, which lived in excellent conditions. As a result of the experiments, a division of reflexes into conditioned and unconditioned appeared. And Ivan Petrovich himself became the founder of the science of higher nervous activity.
The impetus for the research was that Pavlov noticed that salivation in dogs began even before the animals received food. Being a physiologist, Ivan Petrovich understood that salivation directly depends on the production gastric juice.
The first unique anchor in Pavlov's research was the bell that accompanied the issuance of rations. Later, the scientist achieved that only the sound of a bell provoked the production of gastric juice in dogs.
Anchoring as an NLP technology
When a specific emotion associated with an experience becomes a stimulus to perform a specific action, this emotion is called an anchor. In practice, such a process occurs unconsciously and most often goes unnoticed.
An anchor acts as a certain external or internal representation that starts the process of reproducing another. The life of each of us is filled with memories, significant moments, names, events, things, even tastes and smells. These are the anchors that skilled psychologists use to program personality.
Remember when you turned around at an unfamiliar voice in the middle of the street when you heard your name. And it happens that people respond to someone else’s name, which is dear to them. Names in this case are the same anchors.
The anchor can be a specific date, a musical composition, a movie, a postcard, an image, anything.
How does this work in practice? Imagine that a person suffering from arachnophobia comes to see a psychologist. Accordingly, we have a negative anchor - spiders and all arachnid reptiles. In order to help a patient get rid of a phobia, a specialist needs to get to the root of the problem. But how can you talk to a person about spiders if he panics at the mere thought of these cute creatures? By programming a positive anchor, for example a phoenix bird, which is not afraid of even the deadliest spider, the psychologist will be able to stop a panic attack with just the word “phoenix”. This is what manipulation looks like, when in skillful hands consciousness becomes soft and pliable plasticine.
Use and installation of anchors, their destruction
Anchors, even the most powerful ones, have a certain life cycle. Anchors can be short-term or long-term. Short-term anchors lose their significance without periodic reinforcement, but long-term anchors can remain for life. It is almost impossible to consciously set an anchor without the proper skills and abilities. The anchoring process is considered to have been successful if playing the anchor three times produced a clean response, identical in all cases.
Setting the anchor should occur at the moment when the person’s emotional state has reached its peak. There are three main types of anchors:
- visual;
- auditory;
- kinesthetic.
The most powerful effect is provided by complex anchors that can be seen, heard and felt at the same time.
Also, in psychology the concept of “collapse of anchors” is used. This technology is used when a person has a negative anchor. Collapse consists of anchoring on a completely opposite emotion, and then simultaneously reproducing them. As a result, both anchors collapse and a neutral attitude towards the situation as a whole arises.
How do we anchor ourselves?
It won’t be difficult to find and give an example of self-anchoring. Remember the last time you bought a phone. Moreover, the initial situation does not assume that you yourself are well versed in gadgets, but went to the store for advice. The manager offered you not the most expensive, but the “best” model available. When you enter each subsequent salon, you will no longer look for something better, you will ask for exactly the first model that you liked and most likely you will buy it.
The next example of self-anchoring is finding a job. You went to a site where they post vacancies, looked at the approximate salary level, got hooked on the amount that warms your pocket the most, and let’s send out your resume. Have you forgotten to check the salary in your city, look at the requirements for the candidate, experience and find out what you need to do to earn several times more than others? The anchor in this situation was a specific figure.
People unknowingly use anchors when raising their children. What caused positive emotions in childhood is given and allowed to children by default. And vice versa, what we have been afraid of since childhood, dreaded, or what made us cry a lot in childhood is taboo for our children.
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The new Fishing Rules for the Volga-Caspian Basin were not criticized by the lazy, and probably also by the officials who came up with and adopted them. They scolded us for various things, but now people are returning from fishing in the Lower Volga and telling absolutely fantastic stories. They say that fishermen are fined for exceeding the number of hooks on a wobbler. If I were not familiar with the work style of some of the employees of the current fisheries inspection, honestly, I would not believe such nonsense.
Having heard enough stories about extra tees, I looked into these rules to figure out what was what. I’ll say right away: I couldn’t figure it out. And there doesn’t seem to be much text, but no matter how hard I tried to understand it, I couldn’t get into it.
The general part of the Rules states that “in all water bodies of fishery significance of the Volga-Caspian fishery basin” it is allowed to fish with fishing rods and spinning gear of “all systems and names” “with a total number of hooks (hooks)” of no more than 10 pieces per citizen. But for some reason, additional restrictions are being introduced for the Astrakhan region. For example, among the permitted fishing gear, “spinning tackle (spinning)” is indicated, which “consists of a fishing rod with guide rings and a handle on which a removable reel with fishing line is attached and is equipped with one bait with one double or tee anchor hook.” And further: “The number of hooks and anchor hooks used should be no more than five on one citizen’s fishing gear.”
The first question: are the reservoirs of the Astrakhan region included in the “all water bodies” of the Volga-Caspian basin or not? Apparently they are included - otherwise why would they be included in the Rules for this pool. But then why are special conditions prescribed for them that contradict what is written for all other water bodies?
But that's okay. Well, we messed up something that doesn’t happen to anyone. But what about these same anchor hooks and hook hooks? On the one hand, it turns out that when going to Astrakhan region, you need to remove all the tees from the wobblers except one. But on the other hand, “one citizen” is allowed to have up to five of these “anchor hooks”. And one more thing: is “hook (hook)” the same as “hook-anchor”, or is “anchor” three “hooks (hooks)”? Is a tee one “hook (hook)” or three?
I wonder, is all this nightmarish casuistry due to poverty of thought or simply laziness? Or maybe intentionally? So that inspectors always have “freedom of maneuver” when communicating with law-abiding fishermen?
And even then, the Lower Volga is quiet and blissful, the fisheries inspectors are bored, but at least they’re busy counting the fishermen’s hooks.
In a word, if you decide to go below, take care of the anchors. And it’s better, out of sin, not to take wobblers at all. There, in the part about the Astrakhan region, it is said that you can fish with “spinners of different shapes and colors with anchors and hooks.” And not a word about wobblers. Is a wobbler a spinner or not?
Personally, I find it difficult to answer.
As sad as it is to admit, almost every person has a set of habitual programs that force him to act in a certain way.
If you observe carefully, you can find only 2-3 constantly repeating scenarios that we play out time after time. Only the scenery changes and characters(and even then, not always).
In most cases, a person is not even aware of the moment when his program is launched?
And also, why does this happen?
And all because the neocortex (the part of the brain responsible for decision-making, analytical and rational thinking) is not involved at this moment.
And since everything happens at the Unconscious level, we endlessly reproduce the painfully hackneyed scenario!
Agree, it’s not very pleasant to feel like a programmed robot.
But that’s how our brain works!
Even at a very tender age, as children, we receive various injuries: emotional, physiological or emotional. This stress causes a certain reaction, which is “recorded on our subcortex” and is renewed every time a situation arises that is subtly similar to the first.
For example, a sharp and unexpected cry in a small child can cause severe fright. For a while he shrinks in fear and freezes.
Then, a similar situation is repeated in kindergarten(the nanny screamed loudly), then again and again.
Years pass, a person goes to work, and cannot understand:
Why does he, an adult uncle, “fall into a stupor” every time when the boss starts yelling?
“The box opens” simply.
Perhaps there is something in the unpleasant timbre of the boss's voice this-similar for his first imprint experience.
Naturally, he does not remember his childhood fear, but the reaction has been preserved, and is triggered every time the Anchor is triggered.
I have devoted more than one article to the topic of anchors:
In short, the Anchor can be any image, sound, feeling, sensation, smell, taste, which for various reasons was imprinted in your Unconscious and formed a link.
For example, the smell of pies invariably brings back memories of a carefree childhood.
Anchors can be External (when you actually see, hear or taste something, etc.) and Internal (a memory, image or feeling).
The most common example: imagine that you took a bite of a lemon. This is enough to make your mouth water.
Each Anchor has its own emotional coloring (both negative and positive)
How does the program start?
The Negative Anchor, like a trigger, causes the initial reaction. Options for responding to a stressful situation are not very diverse.
The most common reactions Attacks or Running away(as well as falling into stupor or submission). Depending on the reaction, the emotion of Anger, Guilt, Shame, or others arises.
The body then reacts (by compressing muscles, increasing blood pressure, changing breathing, etc.)
And then - restless and disturbing thoughts.
It is the Reptilian Mind - the most ancient part of our brain - that is responsible for the instinctive response that we cannot control. Once such behavior was associated with a threat to human survival, and was justified. And although the threat is long gone, instincts work as before.
The limbic system of the brain (another name for it is the “mammalian mind”) is responsible for the emergence of emotions.
And another part of the brain, the “Neocortex,” is associated with conscious thinking.
If the program starts, thenuntil she wins back, it is almost impossible to stop it.
In short, the scheme is as follows:
Anchor – Reaction – Changes in physiology in the body- The emotion corresponding to this Reaction is Anxious Thoughts
As you can see, it is the Anchor that is the trigger - the very button for launching a negative program that turns a person into something like a programmed robot.
“They pressed one button” - they reacted in this way. “Pressed another” – a little differently. But the essence does not change - we demonstrate the same patterns of behavior all the time.
As you can see, the script is not too complicated.
Perhaps many will say: “Yes, there was no stress in my childhood!”
It's all about the difference in perception between an adult and a child!
What seems funny or not too serious from an adult’s point of view (ridicule, mockery, fear of the dark, etc.) can cause a very strong reaction in a child!
Absolutely everyone has anchors!
90 percent (if not more) are formed in childhood, the rest - in adulthood.
For example, a girl experienced severe stress from the way her ex-lover treated her.
And as soon as her subsequent relationships enter the very phase that reminds her of the pain (or shortly before it begins), she completely unconsciously strives to interrupt them.
The fear of speaking in front of an audience can also come from childhood (for example, in the first grade, a classmate laughed when you forgot a poem). It seems like nonsense, a trifle! But for some reason, after many years, the same feeling of awkwardness arises.
Anchors are formed in different ways:
Imprint Anchors occur simultaneously, as a result of severe fright or a situation that has become severe emotional, psychological or physiological stress for a child (or adult).
Example: a child is having a very hard time with his parents’ divorce. And after a while he himself repeats a similar fate. Naturally, there may be several reasons. Imprint Anchor is one of them.
Imprint Anchors can even arise during childbirth.
The moment of birth is one of the most powerful and significant in the life of every person (even more powerful than death). The baby feels comfortable and safe in his mother’s tummy and suddenly contractions begin. This is extremely stressful for him.
The way he behaves at the moment of birth often determines his future character. One freezes during strong contractions (especially if the umbilical cord is entangled), the other fights with all his might for his life, the third actively rushes to the exit.The chosen tactics can work in more adult life(as a response to a stressful situation).
Another option is when the anchor is weak, but repeats with a certain frequency. Then it intensifies and consolidates on an unconscious level.
Example: a mother punishes a child for any mistake. A certain facial expression of her dissatisfied face can become a negative anchor for him. If he sees a similar expression on the face of a person significant to him, then an anchor from distant childhood is automatically launched. And it no longer matters how old he is: five or seventy-five.
So every time you're on Reacting painfully to someone or something, this only means that at this moment “your Inner Child awakens.”
Track these moments! What started this reaction?
People who evoke not the most pleasant feelings are also our most best helpers. They show us our Anchors!
It would seem such an innocent gesture to shake your finger at a child: Ay-ay-ay, what have you done!
And even he can become a Negative Anchor.
A finger pointed at another (especially with a sharp movement),
refers to gestures of Aggression!
And it doesn’t matter whether we know about it or not, unconsciously we perceive it in this way.
Just the other day I felt this very well for myself.
My mother is the kindest person. Not long ago she came to visit us. We sat opposite each other, drank tea, and my mother talked about the migrant workers who almost started a fire in their house.
At some point I didn’t feel very comfortable, I automatically got up from the table and moved a little to the side.
And then I realized what was going on: while telling it, she was so emotionally immersed in this story that she made several rather sharp movements with her index finger in my direction (as if there was an imaginary interlocutor in front of her). I understood perfectly well that this gesture had no meaning. nothing to do with me, but on an unconscious level the body automatically triggered a signal of aggression.
In general, our gestures and facial expressions are a separate and very interesting conversation. A little later, I’ll get together and make a series of articles on this topic.
It is quite logical that we do not remember many stressful situations from childhood.
Sometimes protection is triggered, and severe stress is simply forced out of memory.
Until the age of 3, children do not have a very rich vocabulary. And what they cannot express in words is often not retained in their consciousness. This information can only be remembered by turning to the Unconscious.
One girl, at the moment of immersion in the past, clearly saw herself as a seven-month-old girl lying in a crib, choking from crying. Her mother was not around, and she felt a strong fear that she had been abandoned.
As an adult, she was able to look at the situation from her mother’s perspective and work through it again. After all, the mother had to not only take care of her little daughter, but also “carry” the whole house on her shoulders: cook, wash, clean. Perhaps she did not immediately hear the crying, and during this time the child experienced severe stress (and the feeling of resentment - “I was abandoned” was stored in her subconscious for many years).
My now adult daughter also often reminds me of how we “abandoned” her alone, abroad, in an unfamiliar city (at that time she was 8 years old). She was very scared when she did not find the car in the place where it had been left (and it had simply been reparked). I won't go into details. The point is that even when she realized that we accidentally missed each other, she remembered this situation in exactly that way. And even time in her mind stretched for a long time (she claims that she was looking for us for an hour, although we were “lost” for only a couple of minutes).
Our memory is selective, and not every strong fright leaves the Anchor!
The human psyche is distinguished by its stability. One person may be very affected by a situation, while another may react rather sluggishly.
Is it really that sad? And you will have to play the same programs all your life?
For some time now, I began to perceive everything that happens in life as the Choice of our Soul and its desire to gain a certain experience. From the point at which we find ourselves, it is difficult to understand and realize the Higher Goal: “Why does she need this?”
And again, we always retain Freedom of Choice:
"What should I do? Continue to react to events as before? Or become the Director of my own life?
Read about how to stop repeating previous reactions
ALL THE BEST!
WITH THANKS. ARINA
