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For children and teenagers, everything is in the hands of their parents. Let's put it this way: it is imperative to worry about and control the time your child spends at the computer. More and more often, parents ask how to wean their teenagers away from the computer. We cannot pack our things and take our child to some remote place where there is no computer or Internet. How to distract a teenager from the computer in this case?

The problem of computer addiction among our children today is breaking all records. The information that the child receives from the monitor screen is also subject to control. For a preschooler, the time allowed for playing on the computer is limited to 15 minutes (without a break). Monitor time” (like TV) – only in strictly dosed “portions”. Put away the computer and take it out only at the time strictly determined by mom. Place restrictions on access to “adult” sites, and monitor games for their benefits for the child.

No computer can replace communication with mom and dad. Despite work, busyness, problems and undercooked borscht - be there for your child. Play with your child. Of course, at a strictly allotted time, but together. Let the child take part in this. Keep the modem, but turn it on only when the child is busy with his own business. Thirdly, distract the child in adolescence constructor and playing snowballs is impossible.

Sports, clubs, etc. The pleasure that a child gets from sports, dancing and other active activities cannot be compared with the joy from another “like” or “game” of shooting games.

The child is embarrassed to communicate real life? In virtual reality, is he a brave superhero? Become your child's friend. At this age, an orderly tone and a belt are not helpers. Now the child needs a friend. Listen to your child and participate in his life. Be interested in his desires and problems - it is in them that you will find all the answers to the question “how to distract...”.

How to wean a teenager off the computer?

Based on what your child lacks, why exactly he runs to the Internet. Now is the time to deeply and completely immerse yourself in that area of ​​interest that is probably already stuck in the child’s head. If a child has already found himself, but does not have the opportunity to develop in the chosen direction, give him this opportunity. How do you deal with computer addiction in a child? In my opinion, it is absolutely forbidden to give a computer before school.

If everyone in the family is sitting at a computer, then the child will get there too. All the rest free time keep the child busy. The only way to distract a child is not to leave him time on the PC. After school - to the section.

I’m already silent about the books that children read in abridged Internet versions. Teach them to use only in the most extreme cases, and prohibit games and social networks altogether. That’s why I treat children with such anger - they don’t give anything, they just take money in wild quantities. Dad is working with his child. Modern parents find themselves in a difficult position: in addition to the standard problem of “fathers and sons,” there is an absolute lack of understanding of the world in which modern teenagers live.

Computer in the life of a teenager

However, if you see your child staring at the screen all the time, it starts to get really scary. Let's figure out why today's teenagers spend so much time on the computer. Yesterday's child moves away from his parents, becoming more and more independent. It’s too early for a teenager to live without parents, so the solution is frequent meetings with friends and/or escape to virtual reality.

Teenagers who stand out from the crowd have the opportunity to find friends and like-minded people. Communication among modern teenagers has moved to another level - so maybe parents shouldn’t worry? A teenager is not yet an adult, and it is his parents who are responsible for his health. You must measure the amount of screen time in your child's life. In this case, parents should understand the reasons that pushed the teenager into the screen world and take measures to “pull” him out of there.

How to wean a teenager off the computer - important tips for parents to prevent computer addiction in children

Online teenager having problems with social adaptation, gets the opportunity to become different, open up, find friends and even love. And in this regard, everything is obvious - the eyes of modern schoolchildren are adapting to looking at a flickering picture at close range.

Myopia is getting younger every year, and it is stupid to deny the relationship of this fact with the popularization of computers, phones and tablets. A computer, for all its complexity, is a machine. No game, no communication on social networks can convey all the subtleties inherent in the versatility of the world and human personality. Robotization of thinking occurs, emotions, compassion, humanity disappear - something that was always inherent in children before. Therefore, in my opinion, a computer is harmful for a developing child.

A teenager sitting at a computer (laptop or tablet) is a familiar and even banal picture, isn’t it? All of the above requires money, but there is no money. There are only physical ones on the computer and on the Internet. Yes, you will spend a lot of time, but the child will sit over the canvas together with the computer, and there is no need to talk about the benefits of this event.

Julia

Hello! Dear psychologist, my son is 10 years old. My husband and I cannot wean him off the computer. The fact is that we made a big mistake: we allowed them to play ourselves. Previously, just two years ago, he was completely different: he ran, played, was happy about something, but now he can play games without eating for hours until you force him to, looking gloomy all the time. Now he hasn’t played for 4 days, his behavior has become unbearable, he listens too much, does everything out of spite, gets into scandals, throws tantrums, speaks very poorly to us. Please advise how to wean him off before it’s too late. Thanks in advance for your answer.

Tatiana Egorova

Good afternoon, Julia!

Such things as TV And computer, should always be given to children in in dosed form and under the strict supervision of parents. As for games, here the position of parents should be doubly tough: strict selection and immediate exclusion of antisocial games, promoting an overly detailed three-dimensional dark virtual reality with elements of cruelty, bloodshed, sexuality, depravity and regardless of whether the child is addicted to them or not.

In your case, the boy has already developed a computer addiction due to his passion for games. It is often equated to drug addiction or alcoholism, and it will be very difficult to pull your child out of this swamp. Take into account that your son is about to go into trouble. teenage years and if drastic measures are not taken now, big problems await you in the future.

Why do children get so carried away? computer games? After all, it happens that a child occasionally plays without compromising his school and home responsibilities... To understand where this addiction comes from, you need to know what is happening in the soul of a gamer and what reasons prompted him to devote all his time to a toy.

Psychologists have noticed that the a virtual reality Very attracts a certain group of people. These include children, teenagers and even adults who are experiencing serious psychological problems in real life. They often have difficulties communicating with friends, they feel loneliness and emptiness in their souls, they are not comfortable with the real world with its real problems that need to be solved, overcoming their timidity and fear. But in games you can always easily solve problems using forceful methods, and if that doesn’t work out, you always have a few lives left... And no one scolds the puny boy.

You know, children and teenagers who have failed to find meaning in life very quickly experience reorientation to virtual life. The sense of time is lost, their own problems fade into the background, and in front of them is a world of a few half-tones, sometimes creepy but also... so understandable and attractive. As a rule, in all games a certain algorithm is artificially set achieving success, i.e. It’s not a child who learns to calculate his decisions, plans and actions—it’s a soulless machine that does it for him. She programs for certain actions. And unfortunately, the meaning of all these actions is to eliminate opponents (shooting, fights, a sea of ​​blood and creepy-looking goblins that contain nothing human... and if there are guys and girls in the game, then most often they are dressed provocatively frighteningly and aimed at exterminating the rest of life in order to achieve their own goal).

There are, however, other games, but none are as popular as 3D virtual reality with the ability to act as a hero.

The child, getting used to the image, involuntarily obeys character specific hero. And you are unlikely to find in him kindness, compassion, sympathy and the desire to help by any means other than violence and weapons. Most games teach that problems can only be solved through brute force and force. Otherwise they will simply kick you out. And all levels of lives will not be enough.

And what’s sad is that addiction, constantly fueled by regular games, affects the child’s psyche. He becomes similar to the characters in his games in terms of psychological qualities. Rudeness, intolerance, lack of restraint, disrespect for elders, and inability to find a compromise in difficult situations are increasing. In the absence of willpower, general behavior worsens. Problems begin in relationships with parents, teachers and peers who do not share this passion. It is not surprising that the child either withdraws into himself or finds dubious friends who suffer from the same psychological disease - gambling addiction.

So what's now?

Julia, I described in detail the causes of addiction so that you can see in which direction you need to move. Now you have no contact with your son, you have lost this thread that previously connected him with you. Your child is most likely suffering deep down and may realize that he is playing too much. But he cannot cope with his addiction on his own. He needs active family support. Even with his resistance, tears, pleas and assurances that “it won’t happen again, I’ll play at least a little” - the family should support him, but not allow him to play under any circumstances and try to switch him to other types of activities. Now, while he is 10 years old, this is still possible.

Gaming addiction, as well as alcohol and drugs cannot be eliminated by limiting time to hobby. The problem is solved quite harshly - complete exception. You need to remove all games from the computer, all discs with games, and possibly the computer itself, if no one except the child uses it. There should be no compromises here.

At first it will be very difficult for you. A child suffering from addiction will behave disgustingly at home, trying to annoy all other family members, try to find his “drug” from his dubious friends, or disappear into computer clubs. Just endure this period calmly. Be open to communication. tell him that you understand him well and are doing it for his own good. Think about what problems he might have (loneliness, lack of friends, lack of recognition from peers, unpopularity in his community, etc.) and help your child solve them. Show that you can find a way out of any situation. Raise self-esteem, inspire confidence that he will cope with his difficulties.

Along with the exception of games you will have to do well think over the child's daily routine so that he does not have free hours for empty pastime. All this depends only on you, parents. That's why look for alternative hobbies, think about which section to enroll your child in, inspire him to do sports, encourage him to be courageous. After all, for a boy to be a weakling is nothing more offensive. And all the guys are trying to become stronger. What methods are used is another question.

If the computer cannot be removed and is needed as a working tool for your husband or for you, think about what development programs you can interest your son. Introduce him, for example, to web design, find training courses - there is plenty of this stuff on the Internet and in stores. Let your son choose something he likes. And the computer is nearby and your favorite thing. Very soon he will get the taste for a new and useful hobby. Show him that You can make good money based on some specific computer skills. The same web designer, programmer, illustrator, flasher, etc.

Do you still have there is hope to improve the situation. Act together with your husband now and you will save a lot of nerve cells in the future. I sincerely wish you success.

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Computer addiction usually occurs in children between the ages of 10 and 16. And this is not surprising - the teenage psyche is not yet stable enough. However, medical statistics are disappointing - among gambling addicts you can increasingly find younger schoolchildren and even preschool children.

Today we will talk about how to rid a child of computer addiction, we will understand the sources of its occurrence and learn the advice of specialists on its prevention.

The topic of excessive computer use is becoming more relevant every day. For example, recently there was a high-profile tragedy: a ninth-grader killed his mother and managed to seriously wound his father just because they forbade him to sit at the computer.

According to a psychologist who talked with a young gambling addict, the teenager developed a gaming addiction. He had practically lost touch with reality and considered his actions to be a continuation of the game. The mental disorder was aggravated by the fact that the child constantly played violent “shooters” (shooters).

The presence of this disease in a child can be refuted or confirmed only after consultation with a psychologist. However, even at home, parents can pay attention to obvious symptoms of addiction.

1. The child sits in front of the monitor for more than three hours a day, not including homework.
2. A teenager needs the computer to run in the background. Therefore, the child turns it on immediately after waking up and returning from classes.
3. Any attempts by adults to limit screen time often end in quarrels, scandals and acute conflicts with the teenager.
4. Schoolchildren have a sharp decrease in the number of social contacts, since communication takes place in instant messengers and social networks.
5. Children are unable to occupy themselves without gadgets. Board games, books and other entertainment are simply not interesting to them.
6. Often, the child neglects household responsibilities and homework in favor of another play session.
7. Almost all interaction with peers comes down to discussing new products gaming industry, computer equipment.

Read also: Causes, symptoms, diagnosis and correction of dyslexia

Main types of computer addiction in children

Before you talk about ways to solve the problem and listen to the advice of psychologists, you need to understand what type of addiction your child has.

According to experts, there are two main types of unhealthy computer addiction.

1. Gaming addiction in children(cyberaddiction) manifests itself in an unhealthy attraction to computer toys. A teenager can sit in front of a monitor for hours, forgetting about studying and even eating. Cyber ​​addiction, in turn, comes in two types:
   • passion for non-role-playing games (arcades, puzzles, speed of reaction), when the child rejoices in completing the game or getting the maximum number of points;
   • dependence on role-playing toys, when children play for certain characters, completely immersing themselves in virtuality.
2. Network addiction (Internet addiction) observed in schoolchildren who experience difficulties in relationships with peers. The teenager spends all his free time (up to 14-15 hours a day) on forums, chat rooms and social networks. He communicates, downloads music and movies, and makes virtual acquaintances. Obvious signs are constantly checking email, an irresistible desire to go online from a computer, tablet or phone.

How dangerous is computer addiction for children's health?

The most obvious consequence of constant screen time is visual impairment. According to the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation, “computer vision syndrome” is widespread among today’s teenagers, the symptoms of which include pain in the eyes, tearing and constant headaches.

However, there are many more health problems caused by the computer. According to the authoritative English psychologist Eric Sigman, computer addiction in children can cause:

• obesity, because children, staring at the screen, do not walk or play, but mechanically eat what is on their plate;
• weakened immunity, which means susceptibility to colds and infectious diseases;
• problems with memory, concentration, and, as a result, difficulties with learning;
• insomnia;
• autism.

Read also: Bullying at school: how to stop ridicule and bullying?

The influence of a computer on a child’s psyche

• The child has less contact with peers, and real life is replaced by virtual life. This, in turn, increases the fascination with the computer - time spent without it seems wasted.
• Against the background of social maladjustment, some schoolchildren develop unjustified aggression, rigidity and other antisocial behavior.
• Teachers are sure that excessive involvement with computers leads to decreased literacy. Children write with errors because they are already accustomed to automatic spell checking.

Advice from a psychologist for getting rid of computer addiction

Can't wean your children away from endless games and communication on social networks? First of all, it is necessary to understand what caused this bad habit. Among its sources are self-doubt, difficult relationships with family members, and inability to build relationships with classmates. Parents in such situations need to support the teenager and help deal with the troubles.

1. The first step is for the whole family to acknowledge the existence of addiction and develop measures to combat it. We immediately warn you that the treatment of setegolism and cyber addiction is a long and very painstaking work.
2. Do not hesitate to contact a psychologist or psychotherapist. Firstly, the specialist will confirm or refute your suspicions, and secondly, he will see the situation from the outside, find out the cause of the addiction and prescribe treatment.
3. You should not criticize, scold, or even physically punish children. Such actions will only aggravate the problem and alienate the teenager from his parents, forcing him to withdraw even more into his inner world.
4. A genuine interest in their hobby will help you get closer to your children. This will increase trust in adults, which means teens will be more willing to share their emotions and more likely to follow parental advice.
5. The void that will appear after giving up gaming needs to be filled with another hobby. This could be sports or creative activities, reading books, or a hobby club.

Hello! My name is Julia. I will tell you about how I saved my, in general, adult son Ilya from computer and gaming addiction. I hope that many will agree with the presented approach to getting rid of this type of addiction and, perhaps, even adopt it.

It was four years ago, Ilya was in his fourth year at the institute, he was then 21 years old. Ilya had difficulties with his studies: constantly missing classes, missing classes, calling home from the dean’s office... He spent all his time either surfing the Internet or playing countless online games. At some point, I realized that this could no longer continue: it would end, firstly, with expulsion, and secondly, with the complete degradation of my son’s personality.

Through one of my friends, I found a psychologist named Svetlana: a rather energetic young woman. We easily found her mutual language, and she, after listening to my problem, offered me a program, the action of which I will outline below.

One day I invited Svetlana home. She followed into Ilya’s room, where he, as usual, was playing some game on the computer, while listening to music on headphones. He didn’t even notice the unfamiliar woman in his room until she touched him on the shoulder (at that time I remained outside the door, listening to their conversation).

The son expressed fear and surprise, asking Svetlana who she actually was and how she got into his room?
- You can call me Aunt Sveta. - the psychologist said with a smile, “I’m here to help you solve your computer problems.”
- I don’t have any problems! - Ilya snapped.
- You're wrong...
Svetlana asked my son several simple questions, each of which, however, caused him difficulties. She asked how much time a day he devotes to the computer, whether everything is good with his studies, how often he communicates with friends, how his relationships are with the opposite sex.
While maintaining a benevolent tone of the dialogue, Svetlana, however, managed to confuse Ilya somewhat, and he admitted that the computer really occupies too much of a place in his life.
- It’s not just a big thing... It’s a real addiction! - said Svetlana, - And I offer you a radical, but very effective remedy to get rid of it: we will reduce your time spent at the computer to 1 hour a day.
And then Ilya began to be indignant and protest. After waiting for him to calm down a little, Svetlana made it clear to him that the treatment program would not be canceled just because of his disagreement: after all, the computer was bought with his mother’s money, and the mother has the right to set any restrictions.

Realizing his powerlessness, the son changed tactics: he began to beg to be allowed to spend four, three, or at least two hours a day at the computer. But Svetlana was adamant:
- Sorry, Ilyusha, but we won’t bargain with you. An hour - and not a minute more.
Then the psychologist asked Ilya to let her use the computer for two minutes to make the necessary settings. Svetlana set it to turn off automatically an hour after starting work, and also set a password on the computer (she later told it to me). Then she silently turned off the computer, causing Ilya to be violently indignant:
- Wait, it’s so unfair! You said it was only for two minutes!
“That’s right,” Svetlana agreed, “and I kept my word.” But I didn’t promise that I’d let you use the computer after that.
She warned that her son should in no way find out the password - otherwise the entire program would be disrupted. Svetlana told me to be strong and not to give in to my son’s pressure - after all, I should be an authority for him - even though he is 21 years old.

Ilya spent the rest of the day without a computer, not wanting to talk to anyone. He just lay on the sofa, covering his face with his hands. I reminded myself that I shouldn’t feel guilty or sorry.

The next day Svetlana visited us again, asking Ilya how he felt about his current situation?
- Badly. “I have nothing to do,” he muttered through his teeth.
Svetlana praised him for enduring his hardships with dignity, and also asked him not to look at her as an enemy and “an evil aunt who took away his favorite toy.”
“But you will look for classes for yourself,” said the psychologist. “You are already an adult.” I advise you to think carefully about how you will fill the free time you have.

After this, Ilya went through a period of “withdrawal”, when he considered everyone an enemy and did not want to make contact. Over the next week, Svetlana visited us every day, checking Ilya’s psychological state and talking with him about the need for life changes. The son became sharper, more gloomy, he had a hard time being deprived of a computer, which for a long time was a part of his life. He often, but unsuccessfully, begged me for the password. Sometimes Ilya said that he needed to do his schoolwork on the computer - I allowed him to do this, but turned off the power as soon as I noticed him having fun. What irritated Ilya most was how suddenly his computer turned off at the end of the allotted hour - every now and then he did not have time to finish playing or watch something.

I was afraid that my son would never be able to come to terms with the loss - however, Svetlana assured me that the main thing was to wait until the withdrawal period was over. And she turned out to be right. Ilya simply had no choice: within a month he took up his books, and his studies gradually began to improve. He fell in love fiction, began to spend more time outside with friends.

Another six months later, Ilya had a desire to sign up for sports dancing, where he met a girl whom he later married. Over time, he forgot to even think about computer entertainment: he uses the computer mainly only for work.

To summarize, I would like to say that this method of getting rid of computer addiction can be called the “shock therapy” method. Of course, it will cause a negative reaction in the child. However, what you should be afraid of is not the hysterics that your child will throw at first. You should be wary of the harm that it will receive from endless hours spent online. The method of persuasion is usually ineffective (Svetlana warned me about this right away) - after all, any addiction takes strong roots in the human consciousness.

In connection with many doubts about the veracity of this story, I would like to make some clarifications.

Firstly: regarding why the son did not object to the new mode of using the computer. I raised my son alone, without a husband. By nature, Ilya has always been a calm, reserved boy. The cases when he threw tantrums were isolated: I instilled in him respect for elders. And at the age of 21, the education given to him has not disappeared! Of course, he was outraged by the deprivation of a computer, and I indicated this in the story, albeit not in bright colors. And I don’t understand at all why he had to swear at everyone, kick Svetlana out, or leave the house... Such boorishness, inappropriate behavior it simply could not have occurred to Ilya - even in such a stressful situation. I invited Svetlana to my apartment, and the computer was bought, as already said, with my money - an adult, as many noted, my 21-year-old son could not help but understand this. I repeat once again: during the period of “withdrawal” there were conflicts with my son; I see no point in describing them in detail.

Further. Why didn’t Ilya get a job to buy his own computer? Before the introduction of a strict regime, he spent all his free time online, believing that this could go on forever. He had to spend the free time on his studies, as he realized that the specialty he received would provide him with Good work. I don’t see the point of getting a small part-time job at the expense of study time - Ilya didn’t consider this option either.

Regarding the password: I did not describe it, but standard Windows security measures were not used. Svetlana installed a program on Ilya’s computer that turned off the computer at a given time: it was also possible to set the PC’s operating schedule - when trying to enter a “forbidden” hour, the computer immediately turned off. The settings of this program were protected with a password.

About using the computer for studying. Again, not everyone may have read it carefully, but I mentioned that for educational purposes, Ilya’s time on the computer was extended, but all attempts to start having fun online were stopped.

And in conclusion, I will once again emphasize that in this matter I am opposed to any condescension and chatter about the need for an individual approach, a desire to change oneself, and so on. Addiction is a disease (and not everyone understands this yet). This is a virus that just won't go away. Only “surgical”, harsh measures are applicable here.