The Monk Barsanuphius of Optina, in his notes, recalls one blessed Kazan ascetic, Euphrosyne. She was born into a rich and noble family, had an excellent education and was amazingly pretty. Everyone predicted her extraordinary success in the world. But she decided differently and became a nun. Once Mother Euphrosyne told the Monk Barsanuphius about what prompted her to leave the world: “Behold, I thought, the Lord would appear and ask:
-Have you fulfilled My commandments?
- But I was the only daughter of rich parents.
- Yes, but have you fulfilled My commandments?
- But I graduated from college.
- Okay, but have you fulfilled My commandments?
- But I was beautiful.
- But have you fulfilled My commandments?
- …
These thoughts constantly bothered me, and I decided to go to a monastery.”
Probably, Mother Euphrosyne’s relatives found her action inexplicable. Indeed, the desire for monasticism seems strange to most people: why leave the world if the commandments can be fulfilled anywhere? Why renounce the joys of life? Why do people who are young and full of strength, who still have time to live, go into monasticism? A review prepared by the sisters of the Yekaterinburg Novo-Tikhvin Convent answers these questions.
Why do they go to a monastery?
What do modern people think about monks? Why don’t they think! Typical ideas are as follows: if a nun is a young girl, it means she left for a monastery out of unhappy love. Or maybe she’s just “weird” and couldn’t fit into life modern society. If this is a middle-aged woman, it means, again, it didn’t work out family life or career. If a woman is aged, it means she wants to live in peace in her old age, without worries about food. In a word, in the general opinion, weak people who have not found themselves in this life go to the monastery. When you express these views to the monks themselves or to people who know monasticism closely, they just laugh. But who, in fact, goes to the monastery and why?
Schema-abbot Abraham, confessor of the Novo-Tikhvin convent: The most come to the monastery different people – different ages And social status. There are many young, many intelligent people. What brings them to the monastery? The desire to repent, to devote one’s life to God, the desire for improvement, the desire to live according to the holy fathers. There is an opinion that losers go to the monastery. Of course, this opinion is wrong. Mostly, energetic and determined people come to the monastery. And this is no coincidence - in order to choose a monastic way of life, you need, first of all, determination and courage.
Galina Lebedeva, Honored Artist of Russia, vocal teacher at the Novo-Tikhvin Monastery: People imagine that a monastery is something like a dungeon where they cry all the time, so you can only go there out of great grief. But this is simply a general misconception. Honestly, it was a revelation for me when I saw the joyful and smiling nuns. The opinion that only failed people who cannot achieve success in life go to the monastery is also incorrect. For example, our family’s confessor, Hieromonk Barsanuphius (now rector of the Valaam Metochion in Moscow) was a very wealthy man before coming to the Church. He said that at that time his salary was such that he could change his car every month. He seemed to have everything. But in adulthood he became a bell-ringer. Not because he was unlucky!
It seems to me that the saying that God takes the best is true. You may have noticed that among the monks there are generally many young and beautiful people? At first I was also perplexed: why did they go to the monastery, so young, so beautiful? And then I realized: that’s why they left, because they were like that! From such people the soul asks for more than ordinary worldly life can give.
What about the parents?..
In Rus', and throughout the Orthodox world, there was a tradition of giving children to become monks, so that they would be prayer books for the entire family. Many pious parents prepared their children for monasticism from childhood. Moreover, this happened not only in peasant families, but also in noble families. For example, the famous ascetic, Abbess Arsenia (Sebryakov), who was from a rich and noble family, was brought to the monastery by her father. However, there were also frequent cases when parents, even believers, did not want to send their child to the monastery, dreaming of seeing him succeed in the world.
Galina Lebedeva: My daughter is a nun. How did this happen? When I started working at the Novo-Tikhvin Monastery, I came from Moscow every two months for three weeks. One day I took my daughter with me and told her: “It’s a very interesting monastery, you’ll like it.” And on the second or third trip she said that she was staying in the monastery. A year later, my husband and I moved to Yekaterinburg, and I got a permanent job at the monastery.
How do we communicate with her now? I look at her and feel in my heart what is happening. And she knows that I feel it. We don't need to discuss this. Sometimes we talk about abstract spiritual topics without touching on personalities. This communication goes beyond mother-daughter conversation. We speak as equals, like two sisters in Christ, and my daughter now understands everything more deeply than I do. Probably, if I myself did not work in the monastery, it would be more difficult for me to communicate with her, because I would have other interests.
At first, I was sometimes sad that I wouldn't have grandchildren. But I, like any mother, first of all, want my child to feel good. I see that she is happy in the monastery.
Schema-nun Augusta: What would I tell parents if their daughter asks to join a monastery? We must try to look at this calmly and prudently. After all, if she, say, got married and went abroad, then, most likely, this would be taken lightly. People sometimes protest against entering a monastery simply because they do not understand what monasticism is. You need to delve deeply into this, try to understand what attracted your child to this choice. Deeply thinking parents, even if unchurched, gradually understand that their child has set out on this path for a special calling.
Hegumen Peter, rector of the Holy Cosminsk hermitage: Most parents try to instill in their children sublime feelings of duty and love. And for some growing children, the spiritual need for the sublime and beautiful reaches its apogee - they are no longer satisfied with earthly ideals, but are attracted by Heavenly things. This often happens even in non-church families. And I sincerely feel sorry for parents who do not understand that it is precisely the ideals that they managed to put into the heart of their child that make their obedient child decide to take such a step as entering a monastery. But I am sure that this temporary parental grief will definitely turn into joy.
Perhaps someone will reproach children who leave their parents and go to a monastery for ingratitude. But gratitude can be expressed in different ways. The filial duty of mature children is to take care of their parents financially. And how is the gratitude of children who have accepted monasticism expressed? In fact, their gratitude is the most complete and real: they pray for their parents, help them enter the Kingdom of Heaven. What could be more? I can tell you a few interesting cases from my spiritual practice. One girl (now she is already a nun) went to a monastery. Her parents were categorically against it and pulled her home. Because of this, she had very strong temptations, a painful struggle with herself. But the Lord rewarded her spiritual longing a hundredfold. Her father once came to the monastery - and he was not only a little churchgoer, but even an unbeliever - and something happened to him. He changed so much that he was baptized, although he had not wanted to hear about it before. Subsequently, the whole family of this girl came to the Church, and the life of her parents was completely transformed. And in another case, the father, imbued with the example of his daughter who went to the monastery, himself wanted to serve God. Now he is already a hierodeacon.
At one time, my mother also really didn’t want to let me become a monk, she cried. And after some time, the Lord consoled both her and me: she and her father were baptized and married. Mom later was even happy that I was in the monastery, asking me: “Can I tell everyone that my son is a monk?”
How do they leave the world?
The story of entering a monastery is the story of a person’s calling by God to a special path in life. Stories like these touch the soul. And what’s interesting is that they always have something in common. Whether you read a story that was two hundred years old or something that happened only recently, you always see some special action of God’s Providence on a person who decided to renounce the world.
Nun D.: In 1996, I came to Yekaterinburg from Tyumen to study at the Academy of Architecture. My father, worried about how I would be alone in a foreign city, advised me to go to the grave of the abbess of the Novo-Tikhvin Monastery, Schema-Abbess Magdalene, and ask for help, since he heard that she was a person of holy life. I followed this advice, although I did not immediately find the grave. At the institute, everything was going well for me, but, apparently, through the prayers of Mother Magdalene, an irresistible craving for monastic life appeared. After a few months of study, I left the world and entered Novo-Tikhvinsky convent, and in 1999 she joined me younger sister.
Novice Z.: The desire to go to a monastery appeared when I was 16 years old. Mom, having learned about this, took me to Zalit Island to see Father Nikolai Guryanov, hoping that he would not bless me. He, on the contrary, blessed me with a cross, and, tapping it on my forehead, said that I would end up in a monastery. And then my confessor somehow called me by a different name. I tell him: “Father, that’s not my name!” And he answered me: “That means you will be a monk...”. This happened that same year and further strengthened my belief that sooner or later I would end up in a monastery. But my mother was categorically against this. And the circumstances in the family were such that I could not leave her with a small child.
When I was 18 years old, I decided to go to Optina Pustyn for a week or two. And she ended up on the train in the next seat with a girl who was also traveling to Optina. Now she is a nun of the Novo-Tikhvin Monastery. Then we were amazed that from all over the train we (both pilgrims!) ended up in neighboring places. Then we talked for some time. After several moves from apartment to apartment, its coordinates were lost. In 2005, during the next move, they were found. I called her, and from her mother I learned that she had been in the monastery for several years, that she had been looking for me, but had not found me. After waiting summer holidays, I went to the Novo-Tikhvin Monastery. And after a week I realized that I wanted to stay here forever, because from the first days I felt spiritual benefits. So - I waited 11 years for the Lord to arrange it so that my departure from the world would become possible. For the last two years, I was simply bored living in the world, although outwardly everything was fine - a sociable, prosperous girl, graduating from university... But you can’t fool yourself. Now I’m even scared to think about life outside the monastery, without the spiritual guidance that I receive here.
Nun I.: I came to the monastery, one might say, unexpectedly for myself. My friend and I came to the monastery as pilgrims, mainly just out of curiosity. Much turned out to be completely different from what had been imagined before; much was unusual. I saw how the sisters prayed at services, how they communicated with each other during obediences - and it shocked me. I discovered that life can be completely different, that for sisters it is the most joyful, rich, and happy. Worldly joys - art, communication with friends, hobbies, travel, earthly love - all this is wonderful and has the right to be. But without God it is just sea foam - it surges and is gone. And if you live for God and live with God, then everything else, in general, is no longer necessary... And soon I realized that I would stay here, that I had found myself.
Schema-nun Augusta: The Novo-Tikhvin Monastery was founded in 1994. It was this year, in the month of August, that I came here. Before that, I was familiar with the confessor of the monastery, Father Abraham. The first time I saw him was in Verkhoturye, when he preached a sermon for the sisters of the Intercession Monastery. This sermon shocked me. Although I had previously heard speeches by brilliant people, professors, there was simply eloquence, knowledge of their craft, but here something touched my heart. Father’s words penetrated to the depths of my soul. I started visiting him. I was 57 years old then, and the priest said: “You probably won’t go to a monastery at that age?” He was afraid of making a mistake; he didn’t know if I could withstand the monastic life. Therefore, he told me to go to Zalit Island to see Father Nikolai Guryanov for a blessing. I went there and it was like flying off on wings. Father Nikolai told me: “Go, child, to the monastery.” And I went.
Hegumen Peter: I know one nun with an amazing fate. Before she left for the monastery, she did not go to church and generally had little interest in religious issues. She was a famous accompanist, many musicians and opera artists dreamed of working with her. Her sacred ideal was music, to which she devoted her entire life. And when she came to the temple and met with the priest, the conversation (of course, not by chance) turned to serving the highest values. She had just become acquainted with Christianity - and her soul immediately became inflamed with a desire for something more than everyday life in the world. And within a month this woman was in the monastery.
Here's another example. A young girl at work, in the office, heard someone, completely abstractedly, say: “I wish I could see a man who left everything for God!” These words sank into her soul. She couldn’t forget them for a long time, she thought about it. And then one fine day I realized that I wanted to do just that - to leave everything for God’s sake.
Who can enter a monastery?
When people, especially young people, come to God, they often have a desire for monasticism. The joy of a person who has acquired the treasure of faith is so great, the burning of his heart is so strong that he wants to completely change his life. Of course, this is wonderful, but a person must be aware of what he is deciding to do. Going to a monastery without understanding why is fraught with grave disappointments. Choosing the monastic path is a worthy and high choice, but very responsible. Who can and who cannot enter a monastery? What does being a monk give a person?Abbess Domnika, abbess of the Novo-Tikhvin Monastery: Whatever path the Lord leads, He brings a person to the monastery through awareness of the height of this path, its salvation, through the desire to live for God, to serve Him alone, through the inner need for deep repentance. Abbess Magdalena (Dosmanova), who led our monastery before its closure in 1918, said this: “I accept not those who cannot live with people, but those who cannot live without God.”
If we talk about obstacles, then, first of all, a person connected by family ties and having small children cannot enter a monastery. Sometimes old age is an obstacle on the path to monastic life, when bodily infirmities and ingrained habits prevent one from completely changing one’s life. But if there are no such obstacles, if a person has a firm intention to renounce the world, of course, nothing can prevent him from entering the monastery. We must also remember that people do not go to the monastery because of unhappy love or failures in life. A monk is a person who has left everything for the sake of living according to the Gospel, for the sake of saving the soul in eternity and love for God.
Each person who comes first lives in the monastery for some time as a pilgrim (from several days to several months, depending on the internal readiness for monastic life). After this, she spends about another year living in the monastery - no longer as a pilgrim, but as a sister, fully becoming involved in the life of the sisterhood - and only then becomes a novice. Such a long period of testing is necessary so that she has time to take a closer look at the way of life in the monastery and test her desire to leave the world. The time of probation can be increased or shortened based on the careful consideration of the abbess and her consultation with the confessor and the elder sisters of the monastery.
For those who feel drawn to monastic life, I would advise reading spiritual literature about monasticism, for example, “An Offering to Modern Monasticism” by St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov).
Schema-abbot Abraham: Who would I not advise to go to a monastery? Anyone who thinks that a monastery is a place where he will escape from difficulties, hide from his failures. Monasticism is, of course, a carefree way of life, in the sense that it frees us from worldly worries and vanity. But at the same time, this is a much more difficult cross to bear than family life. In general, it must be said that both monasticism and family life are crucifixion. If a person goes to a monastery only for the reason that he does not want to bear the family cross, then he will be disappointed. Having taken upon himself the monastic cross, he will not receive relief, but, on the contrary, greater difficulties. Although there will be greater grace-filled consolation, and greater success in spiritual life, if he zealously fulfills monastic vows.
Is monasticism for everyone? Monasticism is for everyone who desires it. But still, this is the path of the few, and you need to carefully look around and think carefully about whether you are ready for this. Because, having made a choice, you must maintain it throughout your life and, according to the Savior, not look back, like Lot’s wife.
Hegumen Peter: The desire to become a monk is, first of all, the response of the human heart to the call of Christ to follow Him without looking back, leaving nothing for oneself, right up to one’s own life. By surrendering to God in obedience, a person is no longer responsible for tomorrow. Tomorrow is arranged for him by the Lord, who clearly sees the needs of his heart. This is where the greatest harmony of life comes from in true monasticism, which so delights the soul of a monk. Life in the world is a completely different matter. There, a person, as a rule, is driven solely by his own interests. He relies only on his own will and his own strength, and, naturally, he himself is responsible for the consequences of his actions. From this hope only on oneself, a person’s life becomes like a game of roulette. A person is often in anticipation of something hostile; he is constantly overcome by feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and fear. This explains the irresistible need of modern man to hold on to the slightest consolation in life. Living with God and for God completely removes this confusion from the soul. And such a life is fully possible precisely in monasticism.
Are monks really happy?
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Abbess Domnica: One of the venerable Optina elders said: “Monastic life is difficult - everyone knows this, but that it is the highest, the purest, the most beautiful and even the easiest, that I say easy - inexplicably attractive, sweetest, joyful, bright, shining with eternal joy - Few people know this.” Why is monasticism so gratifying? Because monks try to live according to the commandments of the Gospel. And living according to the Gospel means already here, in this earthly life, living in Christ. Of course, Christians in the world try to lead a virtuous lifestyle, but in the monastery the most favorable conditions have been created for this. To humble yourself, to be meek and condescending, to prefer prayer to any entertainment - the world often perceives all this as foolishness. And the person who fulfills these virtues constantly feels like a “black sheep.” And in a monastery you can do all this without any fear or regard for human opinion, freely and boldly, moreover, with joy. To put it simply: by becoming a monk, a person loses worldly attachments, these shackles of the soul, and acquires freedom of spirit, freedom to live the gospel life and therefore finds happiness.
Schema-nun Augusta: The goal of every Orthodox Christian is to transform his soul, to cleanse it of passionate hobbies and skills. In the monastery, this is exactly what he does. Of course, it's not painless. But gradually, when a person sees changes in himself - albeit very small ones! – this path becomes easier and easier for him. Gradually, his mind and heart seem to enlighten, he works on his soul meaningfully, sees the results and feels great joy from this.
Hegumen Peter: What is happiness? This is the moment when a person's heart is filled with the greatest gratitude to life itself. At such moments, a person experiences a strong conviction that it is for such a life that he was born and that he does not need anything else. The whole human nature seems to be permeated with vitality at this moment. If you look into the heart of even a new novice, you can see that it is precisely these feelings that fill it. It is difficult to explain to an outside observer the seeming contradictions of monastic life. A person cries - and crying is joyful. He endures difficulties - but they bring comfort to the soul. The black cassock with the apostle's monk causes horror in many - and for the novice girl herself, this monastic outfit gives rise to a poignant feeling of heartfelt, spiritual delight. “All glory to the princess’s daughter is within...” Something happens in a person’s heart - sometimes even incomprehensible to him, mysterious and inexplicably beautiful.
...What is monasticism? Let us cite another remarkable episode from the memoirs of St. Barsanuphius of Optina: “Father Ambrose had a friend in the world who was very unsympathetic to the monks. When Father Ambrose entered the monastery, he wrote to him: “Explain what monasticism is, but please, in a simpler way, without any texts, I can’t stand them.” To this Father Ambrose replied: “Monasticism is bliss.” Indeed, the spiritual joy that monasticism gives even in this life is so great that in one minute you can forget all the sorrows of everyday life, both worldly and monastic.” Probably, you can’t say more precisely.
What makes Russian women become nuns?
Today, on a wave of patriotism, we are becoming more and more pious - at least outwardly. What do we have with female monasticism - our attitude towards it and its attitude towards us? Who becomes nuns and why? Does God have a probationary period, otherwise the desire will go away? And is it possible to return to the world if it has passed?
Under the USSR Dictionary interpreted monasticism as a form of passive protest against inhuman living conditions, which originated under the autocracy, as a gesture of despair and disbelief in the possibility of changing these conditions. Back then, when you heard the word “nun,” you only thought of an elderly granny who had never gotten rid of the prejudices of the past. Today, those who go to the monastery look completely different.
For example, romantic young ladies, “bookish” girls who got their ideas about monasteries from novels and films. Muscovite Larisa Garina in 2006 observed obedience in the Spanish monastery of the Discalced Carmelites (one of the strictest, with a vow of silence), prepared to take the vow and assured that only love for God brought her to these walls. “It’s hard for a week without sex,” Larisa assured, “but for the rest of your life it’s normal!” Today Larisa is happy, married, mother of two children. Youth is just youth to experiment.
A significant contingent are girls with problems who initially end up in the monastery only for a while. 25-year-old Alina 7 years ago, at 18, became addicted to drugs. “My parents sent me to a monastery for 9 months,” she recalls. — This is a special monastery, there were 15 novices like me. It was hard - getting up before dawn for matins, praying all day and poking around in the garden, sleeping rough... Some tried to escape, went to the field to find some grass in order to “kill themselves” with something. After some time, the body apparently cleanses itself. And a little later, enlightenment comes. I remember this state well: how the scales fall from my eyes! I completely came to my senses, reconsidered my life, and my parents took me away.”
— A monastery is also a kind of rehabilitation center for “lost” people: drinkers, homeless people,” Father Pavel, confessor of the Mother of God of Albazinsky St. Nicholas Convent, confirms Alina’s words. — The lost live and work in the monastery and try to start a normal life.
Among those who went to monasteries there were many famous people. For example, the younger sister of actress Maria Shukshina Olga, daughter of Lydia and Vasily Shukshin. At first, Olga followed in the footsteps of her parents and starred in several films, but soon realized that she was uncomfortable in this environment. The young woman found the meaning of life in God, lived at an Orthodox monastery in the Ivanovo region, where her sick son was raised for some time. Olga carried out “obedience” - in addition to prayers, she baked bread and helped with the monastery’s household chores.
In 1993, actress Ekaterina Vasilyeva left the stage and entered a monastery. In 1996, the actress returned to the world and to the cinema and explained the reason for her departure: “I lied, drank, divorced my husbands, had abortions...” Vasilyeva’s husband, playwright Mikhail Roshchin, after her divorce with whom she left the world, assured that the monastery cured him ex-wife from alcohol addiction: “No matter what clinics she was treated in, nothing helped. But she met the priest Father Vladimir - and he helped her recover. I think she sincerely became a believer, otherwise nothing would have happened.”
In 2008, People's Artist of Russia Lyubov Strizhenova (mother of Alexander Strizhenova) exchanged secular life for monastic life, waiting for her grandchildren to grow up. Strizhenova went to the Alatyr Monastery in Chuvashia.
Famous actress Irina Muravyova does not hide her desire to hide in the monastery: “What most often brings you to the temple? Illness, suffering, mental anguish... So grief and aching emptiness inside brought me to God.” But the actress’s confessor does not yet allow her to leave the stage.
I go to the courtyard of the Novospassky Monastery in the near Moscow region, known for accepting novices and also providing shelter for women victims of domestic violence. Moreover, the monastery itself is for men.
I tell the priest that I came to consult about my 20-year-old niece Lisa - they say she wants to go to the monastery and will not listen to any persuasion.
Father, Father Vladimir, reassures:
- You bring her. We won’t take it, but we’ll definitely talk. There must have been unrequited love. Age has its place... She can’t go to a monastery! You cannot come to God out of grief and despair - whether it is unrequited love or something else. People come to the monastery only out of conscious love for God. Just ask Mother Georgia, she came to the sisterhood 15 years ago, although everything was fine with her - both work and home were full.
The sister, and now mother, named in the monastery in honor of St. George, was called differently in the world. Despite her black clothes and lack of makeup, she looks about 38-40 years old.
“I came at 45,” my mother smiles slyly, “and now I’m 61.”
Either an enlightened look gives such an effect, or a relaxed, kind face... I wonder what brought her to God?
- Do you have a goal in life? - Mother answers the question with a question. - And what is she like?
“Well, live happily, love children and loved ones, bring benefit to society...” I’m trying to formulate.
Mother Georgiy nods her head: “Okay, but why?”
And no matter how hard I try to find an explanation for my seemingly noble goals, I always come to a dead end: really, why? It turns out that my goals seem to be not lofty, but vain. Small troubles - all so that you can live comfortably, so that neither conscience nor poverty disturbs you.
“Until you realize the purpose of your earthly life, there is nothing to do in the monastery,” summarizes Mother Georgia, and Father Vladimir smiles approvingly. “I came when suddenly one fine morning I realized why I was living.” And I woke up with a clear understanding of where to go. She didn’t even come to the monastery; they brought the legs themselves. I left everything without a second thought.
- And have you really never regretted it?
“This is a state when you clearly see your path,” mother smiles. “There is no room for doubts or regrets.” Bring your Liza, we’ll talk to her, tell her that she doesn’t need to give up the bustle of the world - it’s too early. Going to a monastery just because of troubles in your personal life is not good! Yes, and from the young flesh there will still be temptations; she will have no time for prayer. But we definitely need to talk: otherwise, if she’s stubborn, some kind of sect can lure her.
- Don’t you hire young people at all? But who are these women?— I point to a group of women in black robes working on a plot of land. Some of them seem young.
“There are those who are waiting for tonsure,” explains the priest, “but they have been here as novices for a long time, they have already tested their love for the Lord.” In general, the abbot usually does not give a blessing to a woman until she is 30 years old. There are those who are simply obedient; they can always leave. And there are those who ran away from their monster husband, they live over there, some with children,” the priest points to a separate log house. We will shelter everyone, but in order to somehow live, we must work in the monastery economy.
—Are there those who are not accepted as nuns on principle?
“The contraindications are about the same as for driving,” the priest smiles, pointing his finger at his car. - Epilepsy, mental disorders and drunkenness.
But why can one be drawn to a monastery by such happiness, if grief and disappointment are not allowed? My conversations with those who were just going to the monastery or visited, but returned to the world, show that such thoughts do not come from a good life.
Elena, a Muscovite, had an adult daughter in a terrible accident. While they were fighting for her life in intensive care, she vowed that she would go to a monastery if the girl survived. But the daughter could not be saved. A year after the tragedy, Elena admits that sometimes it seems to her that her daughter died in order to save her from monasticism. Because Elena is glad that she did not have to fulfill her promise and give up worldly life. Now the orphaned mother reproaches herself for not having formulated her thought differently: let her daughter survive - and we will live and enjoy life to the fullest together.
32-year-old Saratov resident Elena admits that a year ago she wanted to go to a monastery; depression was caused by serious complications after the operation. Today Lena is happy that there were kind people who managed to dissuade her:
“My confessor, as well as my family, friends and psychologists kept me from taking this step. I found a good father, he listened to me and said: you have a family - this is the most important thing! And he advised me to contact an Orthodox psychologist. Today I understand that my desire to go to a monastery was only an attempt to escape from reality and had nothing to do with the true desire to come to God.
“The desire of girls to enter a monastery is most often an attempt at self-realization in this way,” confirms Ellada Pakalenko, a psychologist with a rare “Orthodox” specialization. She is one of the few specialists who works specifically with “monasticism” - those who want to leave worldly life, but have doubts. They come to Hellas themselves, sometimes they are brought by relatives who are unable to dissuade their loved ones from such a step on their own. It was Pakalenko who helped Lena from Saratov escape the monastery cell. Hellas knows what she’s talking about: she herself went to the Donetsk monastery as a novice at the age of 20.
Hellas Pakalenko. Photo: from personal archive
“In general, general flight to monasteries is always accompanied by an economic crisis, genocide and overpopulation,” says Hellas. — If we look at history, we see that mass exoduses of the laity always occur against the background and as a consequence of a sick society. And the mass exodus of women is a sure sign of pressure on them. This happens when women stop coping with the task assigned to them and want to throw off the burden of responsibility by trusting in God. And from time immemorial, girls have been raised with very high demands: she must be a wife, a mother, a beauty, and educated, and be able to feed her children. And boys grow up irresponsible, feeling that they themselves are happiness and a gift for any woman.
An Orthodox psychologist is sure that going to a monastery replaces unrealized love for a woman:
— As practice shows, girls who go to the monastery are not from church-going families at all, but emotionally closed ones, with low self-esteem and weak sexuality, believing that only within the monastery walls they will be “understood.” They don’t understand that this is not a solution, and certainly not good for God. To pacify the flesh, the monastery is also not the best place: girls with normal sexuality who try to suppress it in this way will have a hard time in the monastery. In the sense that they will not find the peace they are looking for there.
Pakalenko says that she visited many monasteries, talked with novices and nuns, and can say exactly what brings yesterday’s carefree girls to their cells. These are poor relationships with parents, especially with the mother, low self-esteem and perfectionism.
— In one monastery I saw such nuns that Hollywood is resting! - Hellas recalls. — Tall, slender girls with model appearance. It turned out, indeed, that they were yesterday’s models, kept women of rich people. And they have such a challenge in their eyes and in their speeches: “I feel better here!” For young people, a monastery is always an escape from problems, from failures. An attempt to “change coordinates” in one’s own life so that they are treated differently. This is not bad, but this is not about true faith, but about the fact that these girls have no other tools to change their lives - not to be discouraged, to work, to study, to love. This is about weakness and lack of will to live, and not at all about love for God. Good confessors dissuade such people. But all sorts of sects, on the contrary, search and lure. Sects always need fresh blood from the disappointed, desperate, and morally unstable. And they always lure precisely because they promise being chosen: “We are special, we are different, we are higher.”
Hellas talks about his own journey into the monastery walls. It was in her native Donetsk, she was 20, she was stately and beautiful girl, enjoyed increased attention from men, for which she was constantly reproached in a strict family. At some point, she wanted a pause—inner silence—to get to know herself. And she ran away to the monastery. 20 years have passed since then, and Hellas assures that there is a way back from the monastery. Although it is certainly not easy.
“I know what it’s like to live in a monastery as a novice, and then understand that it’s not yours, and leave there and return to these walls only as a specialist - a “dissuade” from the monastery. Now I’m 40, I teach people to believe in God and keep his commandments, and not to isolate themselves from the outside world simply because they don’t have the strength to get what they want, to resist violence, evil, pain.
Hellas recalls that at the monastery, in addition to novices and nuns, there were simply women with children who had nowhere to go. All the inhabitants of the monastery walls had their own stories, but no one was taken to monastic vows right away. It was necessary to stay in the monastery for at least six months and, if the desire persisted, to ask for the blessing of the abbess. Basically it was simple women, without special requests or education.
An expert on Orthodox ethics and psychology, Natalya Lyaskovskaya, admits that after the onset of the crisis, there were more women who wanted to retire from the world. And he identifies 5 main types of “candidate nuns.”
Natalya Lyaskovskaya. Photo: from personal archive
1. Today, students of monasteries most often become nuns. In Russia there are many shelters where orphan girls, those who have lost their parents, and children from disadvantaged families find protection, care and care. These girls grow up in convents under the tutelage of sisters in Christ, who not only care about the physical health of their pupils, but also the mental health - they treat the children with the love that they were deprived of. At the end high school they can leave the walls of the monastery and find their place in society, which is not difficult with acquired skills. However, often girls remain in their native monastery for the rest of their lives, take monastic vows and, in turn, work in shelters, nursing homes, hospitals (for obedience), in schools - and at the monasteries there are music, art, and pottery workshops. and other schools, not only general education and parish schools. These girls cannot imagine life without a monastery, outside of monasticism.
2. Second common reason, according to which already adult girls and women come to the monastery, is a great misfortune suffered in the world: the loss of a child, the death of loved ones, the betrayal of a husband, etc. They are accepted for obedience if for a long time a woman still wants to become a nun and the Mother Superior sees that she will become a nun, she is tonsured. But more often than not, such women gradually come to their senses, gain spiritual strength in the monastery and return to the world.
4. There is another category of women over whom our monasteries are increasingly taking guardianship. These are women who failed to integrate into the social model of society or for some reason were thrown to the margins of life: for example, they lost their homes due to the fault of black realtors, were expelled from home by children, drinkers, and are struggling with other addictions. They live in a monastery, feed there, work as best they can, but they rarely become nuns. It is necessary to go through a long spiritual path for the monastic spirit to kindle in such a person.
5. Sometimes there are exotic reasons: for example, I know one nun who went to the monastery (besides her sincere spiritual disposition towards the monastic way of life) because of the unique library that the monastery she chose had. In one of the Siberian monasteries there is a black girl, she came to Russia specifically to become a nun and “live in silence”: in her homeland she had to live in a black ghetto, where there was terrible noise day and night. The girl accepted holy baptism and it’s been four years since I took monastic vows as a nun.
Father Alexey Yandushev-Rumyantsev. Photo: from personal archive
And Father Alexey Yandushev-Rumyantsev, prefect for educational and scientific work the highest Catholic theological seminary in St. Petersburg, explained to me true female monasticism:
“The Church sees a special blessing in women’s choice of the monastic path - as always, when its children devote themselves to prayer and spiritual feat for the world and for all humanity, for this is love for one’s neighbor. Today, as in all previous eras, starting from the early Middle Ages, among the people who devoted their entire lives to serving God and prayer, the majority were women. The experience of our life suggests that, being delicate and defenseless by nature, women are in fact often stronger and incomparably more selfless individuals than men. This also affects their life choices.”
What is monasticism? Is it an easy path to go to a monastery? Hegumen Sergius (Rybko) will tell you about this in an article on the portal “Orthodoxy and Peace”.
Monasticism
Letter one
Hello!
If you have some free time, please help me. My name is N. I'm 16 years old. I live in Petersburg. I don’t really know who you are, but it seems to me that you can give me advice.
The thing is, as often happens with people my age, I’m trying to find love. I have big problems with my parents. They do everything we need for us (I have a brother and sister): I even study at a fee-paying school. But they can’t stand each other, they quarrel endlessly, dad beats mom and sister. He hasn’t hit me for a long time because I’m lying to him. but, in my opinion, my sister and mother provoke him themselves. And this is all every day. Dad doesn't allow us much. But, in fact, we live on his money. He also loves us in his own way, but this love is incredibly difficult to bear. Because of all this, I practically don’t communicate with anyone, so I have few friends.
I know that other people have much more difficulties than I do, but I think you know that your problems always seem completely insoluble.
I had the idea that if I became a nun, I would get away from all this anger. Besides, I don’t want to envy the one that the person I love will someday marry. And this will obviously happen someday. But then I thought: wouldn’t this just be the easy way out?
If you can tell me something, please answer.
Answer from Father Sergius (Rybko)
Hello N.!
At 16, it’s too early to make vital decisions. The desire to go to a monastery is precisely one of them, because people go there once and for all. Of course, it is permissible to first go, see, live and work as a pilgrim in order to get acquainted with the monastery, the sisters and monasticism itself. From your letter it is clear that you are hardly familiar with the latter. Therefore, your desire really looks like choosing the “easy way”. But an easy path in monasticism is impossible; the Lord promised all His followers a narrow and thorny path, which few dare to follow. Monasticism is an even more difficult path than Christianity in the world, which is why it is sometimes called “bloodless martyrdom.”
Your ideas about monasteries were most likely formed from reading fiction and watching films. Moreover, for the most part, they are Western, that is, telling about the life of Catholic monks. Orthodox monasticism is secret and is in no hurry to reveal its secrets to the first person it meets. Therefore in fiction, with very rare exceptions, there are no reliable images of Orthodox monks. You most likely have not read spiritual literature telling about monastic life, written by the monks themselves. And even if you did read it, it’s unlikely that anyone could correctly explain to you what was written there. If you knew what a modern convent is, not in your dreams, but in reality, you would hardly want to solve your life problems by entering it.
In movies and novels, people usually go to a monastery to escape unhappy love or other hardships in life. In fact, this is a misconception. It is characteristic of the false mind to measure everything by its own standards, and therefore it does not imagine that there may be some other reasons unknown to it. Whatever the adversities, monastic life is much more difficult, requiring great hardships, and most importantly, self-sacrifice and dedication. Such is this life that a person simply has neither time nor energy left for himself. Therefore, you cannot go to a monastery without first understanding what monastic life is for, without loving it with all your heart, despite its apparent difficulties. Just as it is impossible to go to a monastery without loving God, to whom a monk sacrifices himself. The sacrifice lies in the fact that having crossed the threshold of the holy monastery, the monk no longer belongs to himself, but only to God. His whole life from now on is the constant fulfillment of the commandments of God, or, in other words, the will of God.
If our whole life is a struggle, and this is exactly the case, the life of a Christian is a battle against the spirits of evil in high places (Epistle of St. Paul to the Ephesians, 6; 12), dark demonic forces. Monasticism in this war is “special forces”, that is, monks – no more, no less, those warriors whose lot falls to the most difficult, dangerous, responsible “tasks”; these warriors must be well prepared to perform them, know and be able to do a lot of things that ordinary soldiers do not need to do.
Now a little about the everyday life of a modern convent.
Are you ready to work 10-14 hours every day, seven days a week, in a barn, garden, construction site, kitchen, laundry, bakery, etc. etc.? You will have to do dirty and hard work, which not every man will undertake. Whether you want it or not, they won’t ask! A day in the monastery begins at 5 a.m. and ends at 11 p.m. at best, and sometimes even after midnight. It is possible to rest during the day on very rare occasions.
The monastery resident spends several hours a day in prayer and worship. And this, believe me, having lived in a monastery for many years, is no less work. For those who are not used to it and do not love it, it is too heavy. In fact, the nun of the monastery is obliged to pray continuously in her mind. This is in addition to worship services, which last up to eight hours a day. But only nuns with robes, that is, those who have already been tonsured, have the opportunity to go to divine services every day. It does not take place immediately; the mantle is preceded by several years of novitiate. Novices usually go only to festive services, and even then not to all; for the most part they work. The work tests how serious their decision is, and cultivates the qualities necessary for future monastic life.
Food in monasteries is meager. Meat is not allowed. Fasts are observed strictly and in full. In addition to the weekly Wednesday and Friday, monasteries also fast on Monday. During fasting they eat only food of plant origin, sometimes fish. Most nunneries, especially newly opened ones, are very poor, so they cannot always afford dairy products, eggs and fish even on permitted days. They eat food only in the refectory; they do not have any personal provisions. In general, a monk has no property except the most necessary.
Sisters leave the monastery only for monastic business. Sometimes you can meet with relatives. The nuns go on vacation every few years to visit their parents, but more often to holy places. They live in groups of two to four people in one cell (room). Of course, they do not receive a salary in the monastery. The monastery provides clothing, food, housing, everything you need. In the monastery they do not read newspapers and magazines, do not watch TV, do not listen to the radio, and only spiritual chants are played on rare tape recorders.
If you think that nuns are Angels, you are mistaken. They are the same people with their shortcomings and weaknesses. As one of the characters in the fairy tale “Cinderella” said: “We are not wizards, we are just learning.” A person comes to a monastery to heal his soul. This takes time. If some achieve holiness, it is in old age. Where many people gather, especially in a women's group, there are bound to be troubles in relationships - people are people. It takes a lot of wisdom, love, forbearance, and most importantly, patience to maintain peace.
There are other spiritual problems that will not be entirely clear to you. Among them, for example, is the complete absence of spiritual leadership in modern monasteries, and therefore the opportunity to receive timely, reasonable advice in the current difficult situation, internal or external. Monastic life is called the science of sciences, and someone must teach it. Strangely enough, there is no one to teach. They study, so to speak, in absentia, from books. The duties of a priest are limited to the regular performance of divine services. In addition, as a rule, “white” (i.e., married) priests serve in women’s monasteries. The Holy Reverend Isaac the Syrian says that those who want to live a monastic life must have a monk as their spiritual leader, since white priests do not know and do not understand this life.
Are you, N., ready for such a life? Will it become harder for you than it is now? You probably ask, why then do they go to monasteries at all? I'll try to answer.
Not everyone leaves, but a select few. A person cannot take upon himself anything unless it is given to him from heaven (Gospel of John, 3; 27). Not everyone, even deeply religious people, are called and capable of such a life. The great teacher of monasticism of the 7th century, St. John Climacus says: “If they knew what sorrows await monks, no one would ever go to monasteries” - I, a monk, like no one else, know well what this means. But the same saint goes on to say: “If they knew what joys await monks in the Kingdom of Heaven, everyone would go to monasteries without hesitation.” I'll add. Not only in the Kingdom of Heaven, but already here, in earthly life, those who lead a truly monastic life experience at times an indescribable, gracious joy. At first occasionally, then more often and stronger. The joy of a monk is the Lord who visits his heart.
“The more I walk the path of life and approach its end, the more I rejoice that I entered monasticism, the more I am inflamed with heartfelt zeal to achieve the goal for which the Holy Spirit established monasticism in the Church. Mercy from the mercies of the King of kings, when He calls a person to monastic life, when in it he gives him prayerful crying and when, through the communion of the Holy Spirit, he frees him from the violence of passions and leads him into the anticipation of eternal bliss. I left the world not as a one-sided seeker of solitude or anything else, but as a lover of higher science; and this science brought me everything: calmness, coolness towards all earthly trifles, consolation in sorrows, strength in the fight against myself, it brought me friends, it brought me happiness on earth, which I have almost never encountered. At the same time, religion turned into poetry for me and keeps me in continuous wonderful inspiration, in conversation with the visible and invisible worlds, in unspeakable pleasure,” writes St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov). But in order to feel this joy, it must be “earned” through hard monastic work.
Only one who, having deep faith, has spent many years previously leading a church life: regularly attended divine services, prayed a lot and often at home, strictly observed fasts, took communion often, loves to read spiritual books, can only understand monastic life and truly want to live it. makes pilgrimages to holy monasteries, but most importantly, builds his relationships with others in accordance with God's commandments set out in the Gospel. For such a person, faith and everything connected with it is the main need of the soul. It is not enough to sometimes go to church and observe the Orthodox customs that my grandmother taught. Faith only as a cultural-historical tradition is not sufficient. It must be alive - fill a person’s entire life, all its manifestations, without exception. Fill your mind, heart and soul.
The commandment: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself (Gospel of Luke, 10:27) - should become the goal of life, its main content . Only then is a serious conversation about monasticism possible. “Before becoming a monk, you need to become a perfect layman” (St. Ignatius Brianchaninov). This means that while living in the world, a Christian must fulfill all the commandments and acquire virtues as much as possible in the world. But this is not enough. Anyone wishing to enter the holy monastery must begin preparing himself for monastic life already in the world.
Monastic life is a “fasting life,” therefore a Christian must accustom himself to monastic fasting. Eat mostly simple and inexpensive food, completely give up meat (and wine for young people), fast on Monday, accustom yourself to abstinence, and do not overeat. Equally important is spiritual fasting—abstinence from worldly impressions. Anyone who wants to become a monk refuses to attend worldly shows and entertainment: bars, discos, restaurants, concerts, theaters, festivals, etc. - exhibitions and museums are acceptable. You need to go on visits and generally maintain acquaintances with reason, mainly with pious people. “With a venerable person you will become venerable, with a wicked person you will become corrupt” (Psalm).
The life of a monk is constant prayer to God. It is unlikely that anyone who has not taken care to acquire the skill of prayer in the world will be able to lead such a life. Prayer is not an easy task. Only he is capable of living in a monastery who, more than anything else in the world, loves prayer and everything connected with it: church, worship, spiritual reading, God-thinking. Even in the world, it is necessary to establish a prayer rule for yourself. It is read morning and evening, lasting up to one hour; no longer needed yet. During the day, if you have time, you can pray as much as you want.
The essential aspect of prayer activities is expressed by the apostolic commandment: pray without ceasing (First Epistle to the Thessalonians, 5; 17). It is best to fulfill it by reading the unceasing Jesus Prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” It is always read, under any circumstances, from morning until evening, standing, lying down, on the go, in transport, while eating, during any activity - they walk and repeat with attention, silently in their mind; alone - out loud or in a whisper. It is for the practice of unceasing prayer that the monk is given a rosary.
He who loves prayer will certainly love the temple of God. God's house will become his home. Such a person is looking for every opportunity to attend divine services one more time or, if there is no service, to at least go and venerate the icons. Naturally, he will try to find a job at the temple, so that, thus freed from the need to earn a living in the world, he will be able to attend divine services more often. It must be borne in mind that Orthodox church unable to pay large salaries. As a rule, it is significantly below the subsistence level.
Such a person will especially love Divine Liturgy, since during it the Sacrament of the Eucharist (in other words, Communion) is performed. Bread and wine, through the action of Divine grace, become the true Body and Blood of Christ, by partaking of which, a Christian receives the Son of God Himself into his heart. This mystery is great. Having tasted that the Lord is good, he will try to receive communion more often, despite the work of preparation, consisting of fasting and prayer.
All this must be done gradually, not arbitrarily, that is, with the blessing and under the guidance of an experienced monk, certainly in holy orders. One of the monastic vows is the vow of obedience. A monk is obliged to obey the monastery authorities and spiritual father. Without a blessing, both in the monastery and in the life of a monk, nothing is done. The relationship between the confessor and the monks is approximately the same as between loving friend each other by parents and children, with the only difference that in the world sometimes children may object or disobey, but in spiritual life it is not customary to do this. Such relationships will bear good fruit only when they are trusting, based on mutual respect and love.
Despite the apparent external simplicity and ease, considerable work is required in order to learn obedience. This Christian virtue is one of the main ones, especially significant in monasticism. It is better to start learning fasting, obedience, as well as other monastic virtues in advance, while still in the world. To do this, you need to look for a spiritual leader. Having found a spiritual father, you need to consult with him about everything, obey him in everything, open everything relating to both internal and external life, first of all paying attention to your relationships with other people. It is also necessary to look for a spiritual father in advance because it may turn out that in the monastery there is no person in whom there is complete trust in spiritual matters. Saint Theophan, the Recluse of Vyshensky, wrote back in the 19th century that it is better to find a spiritual leader before entering the holy monastery, since it will be difficult to find him in the monastery. In order to correctly understand what monastic obedience and other monastic activities are, it is necessary to read the books of the Holy Fathers on ascetic topics.
Reading spiritual books is one of the means of preparing oneself for life in a monastery. You need to read first of all the following authors: St. John Climacus, Abba Dorotheus, John Cassian the Roman, Barsanuphius the Great and John the Prophet, Isaac and Ephraim the Syrians. The works of recent authors are especially relevant: St. Ignatius of Stavropol (Brianchaninov), St. Theophan the Recluse, the Optina elders, and not yet glorified: abbot Nikon (Vorobyov) “Repentance is left to us,” the Valaam schema-abbot Ioann (Alekseev) “Look into your heart,” modern Greek ascetics. The biographies of the ascetics of piety of the 19th and 20th centuries are also useful. What you read in the world will also be useful because the resident of a modern monastery is usually so busy with obediences that he does not always have time for spiritual reading. And the works of St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov) are so important to the modern monk that I advise you to postpone your entry into the monastery until you can familiarize yourself with at least his book “An Offering to Modern Monasticism” (Volume V of “Creations”). Before entering the monastery, one must take care of acquiring a personal library of ascetic works of the Holy Fathers, since the monastery may not have such a library, and there are unlikely to be funds to purchase books. Having the books of the Holy Fathers in his possession, the monk will not only receive invaluable benefits from reading, but will also be able to benefit the brethren, providing his books for general reading. A personal library is necessary, even if there is a monastery library. The experience of everyone who lived in modern monasteries shows that spiritual books are an irreplaceable adviser and comforter, and therefore should always be in a monk’s cell. Books are the only wealth of a monk that is not subject to the vow of non-covetousness. You can prepare yourself to fulfill the vow of non-covetousness by accustoming yourself in your personal life to using only necessary things, avoiding excesses. No less important for all expenses, ways to earn cash and operations with them take the blessing of his spiritual father. This will help to at least partially avoid unnecessary worries, confusion of mind and frustration that are inevitable in money matters.
The advice given here will be useful not only to a person preparing himself for monasticism, but will also be useful to anyone, regardless of whether the person later goes to a monastery or not. But first of all, N., at your request, I briefly outlined what someone who wants to go to a monastery needs. And in order to become a real nun, you need even more. It’s probably too early to say what exactly; Many volumes have been written about this, which could fill a whole library. Probably, after reading this letter, you will understand that your desire to leave for a monastery is premature, largely due to ignorance. Most likely, it was an impulse of the soul that has already passed. If you are not yet disappointed, you are a courageous person.
Let's try to think about what can really be done in your situation. Firstly, there is no need to make quick decisions, which, as a rule, turn out to be rash. The payment for life's mistakes is sorrow. There are already enough of them, there is no need to multiply them. The right decisions, like healing fruits, take a long time to ripen. They depend on many things, in particular, on changes in circumstances in which it is necessary to learn to wait patiently. In any case, learn patience - it will always come in handy. A patient person is the first sage. With patience, learn to forgive, especially people who love you, although sometimes they show unreasonableness in their love. Much is forgiven for love.
From the current circumstances it is not difficult to understand that adversity is inevitable, and earthly happiness is changeable. And how many people find it? Besides this life, its happiness and pleasures, riches and pleasures, there is another life - the life of the soul, which proceeds, although somewhat dependent on earthly life, however, according to its own spiritual laws. A person’s life cannot be full, and therefore happy, if spiritual laws are not taken into account. They are presented in the book “ New Testament”, in another way - “Gospel”. Take the trouble to familiarize yourself with it. This book is read more than once. Wise people re-read it constantly and have it near them. She is the first and best advisor. After reading the Gospel, you may want to read other spiritual books that will help you find answers to many life questions.
It would also be good, Natasha, for you to start praying at home and going to church. You should try to go to church every Sunday and on major holidays, and stand throughout the service. There you can not only pray, you can also ask the priest for advice, find good friends from among your peers, and perhaps even a person who will then share with you life path. After all, people gather there, including young people, for whom the main thing in life is to love your neighbor as yourself. How is this different from fashion? modern morality: “love yourself and make others love you at any cost!” Sorry for the verbosity. Maybe you won’t completely agree, but I hope that what I’ve written will at least help you in some way.
Letter two
Hello Tatiana!
It is joyful to hear that in our times someone wants to take the path of monastic life. It is especially gratifying that this person is quite young. Like you, at the age of nineteen I connected my life with the church, entering the church to work as a psalm reader - this was in 1979. Like you, I especially loved the Liturgy. Two years later, he received a blessing for the monastic path of life from his spiritual father. But my wish was realized only in 1988 with the opening of Optina Pustyn, where I entered.
Looking back at the path I have traveled, I do not regret anything, except for some mistakes and sins. I would do exactly the same now. But to my personal experience as a monk I can now add the experience of a priest, which allows me to get acquainted with the inner world of other people, many of whom have either already taken or want to take the monastic path. Unfortunately, there are quite a few who, having made such an attempt, subsequently went into the world, and some even left the church. In some cases, the reason was that these people entered the monastery prematurely, not yet being ready. And some left without God’s will out of spiritual and bloody jealousy, guided by the advice of confessors who did not have the right to give such advice, and sometimes were simply seduced. It ended in tragedy, a broken life, especially if the person managed to take monastic vows. “A person cannot take upon himself anything unless it is given to him from above.”
In some cases, those who entered the monastery were disappointed by the existing order, which did not correspond to their ideas about the monastery. The ideas were dreamy, compiled by a person on the basis of books he had read or enthusiastic stories he had heard. Since the time of the ancient fathers, much has changed, if not almost everything. “A person who has not noticed these changes, changes not in essence, but in the environment that has a significant influence on the essence, is thereby placed in a false position” (St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov), vol. 5).
In order to go to a monastery now in a godly manner, you must first gain experience and knowledge of what monasticism actually consists of. What it is? Do modern monasticism and a modern monastery differ from ancient monasticism and in what ways? Is the feat of a monk of today different from the feat of the ancients and how much? Nobody, Tanya, can answer these questions, believe me! You will have to figure it out yourself, at best, with the help of books. It is very difficult, almost impossible, to meet a bearer of living monastic tradition, a true ascetic, a true monk, a follower of the patristic teaching on salvation. Neither the loud name of the monastery nor the fame of the holy ascetics who labored there previously guarantee this. Despite the apparent abundance of people in monastic robes, numerous open monasteries (there are now over six hundred of them), this is exactly the case. The situation is especially difficult in female monasticism. Despite hundreds of women’s monasteries, not one of them (!) corresponds, in my opinion, to the patristic understanding of monasticism. God forbid I'm wrong. But there are still monks and nuns. May God grant you to meet them on your way someday.
How can we understand what monasticism is? First of all, turn to books, those written by the monks themselves, especially those canonized. A good start would be: St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov) “Ascetic Experiences” (vol. 1), “Ascetic Sermon” (vol. 4), “Offering to Modern Monasticism” (vol. 5), “Letters”; St. Theophan the Recluse: “What is spiritual life and how to tune in to it?”, “The Path to Salvation”, various editions of his letters about spiritual life; letters of the Optina elders, especially St. Ambrose; from modern ones - “Repentance is left to us” ig. Nikon (Vorobyova) (+1963), “Look into your heart” Schema-Abbot Ioann (Alekseev) (+1958); from the ancients the “Ladder” of St. is useful. John Climacus and the teachings of St. Abba Dorotheus. It may not be possible to get these books right away, but try, because they are extremely needed, and not just now. They must be acquired at any cost and not parted throughout your life.
As you read, many questions will arise. Do not rush to ask them to the white priest. “Those who wish to live a monastic life must look for a spiritual leader from among the monastics, that is, white priests do not know and do not understand this life” (St. Isaac the Syrian). Unfortunately, not every monk is now able to give competent advice. If possible, visit monasteries. Mostly men's, I don't recommend women's. I'm afraid that in women's rooms you may get a distorted idea of monastic feats. If possible, maintain communication with monastics. But most importantly, pray to God to reveal His will - whether it is for you to choose the monastic path of life, when and where to do it, how to prepare yourself.
With love in Christ, Hieromonk Sergius.
How to go to a monastery. Not everyone who wants to is accepted into the monastery. There are a number of restrictions here that anyone who is planning to renounce the vanity of the world and go to serve God should be aware of.
I will list the main requirements.
1) The monastery does not accept citizens who are members of an official or civil marriage. A divorce must be filed. You will have to present a divorce certificate or other documents confirming the absence of a marital relationship. For example, if a spouse has passed away, a death certificate will be required.
2) The monastery does not accept citizens who have dependent minor children or have child support obligations.
3) To enter the monastery, you will need to undergo an interview with the abbot. A non-Orthodox worldview is one of the main obstacles to entering service in a monastery.
4) Absence bad habits: smoking, drinking, drug addiction.
5) Absence of mental disorders and diseases.
6) Absence of immoral and obscene tattoos on the body.
7) Absence of disability or chronic diseases that require constant medical supervision and treatment.
8) Some monasteries do not accept people who have ever been in prison.
9) Russian citizenship is required, in addition to this there must be permanent registration.
10) Age - over 18 years old.
To go to the monastery you need:
1) You need to think carefully about your decision and more than once. By accepting it, a person must understand that he is going to radically change his life. Life in a monastery is hard - you need to work a lot physically, observe all the fasts, and tame the flesh.
2) If you have made a firm decision to renounce worldly vanity, then contact the abbot of the monastery and talk about your desire to come to the monastery. He will tell you what you need to take with you.
3) Upon arrival at the monastery, you will need to present documents: passport, birth certificate, divorce certificate. In addition, you will need to write an autobiography. If you are not married, have settled children and meet the above requirements, you will be accepted for a probationary period. As a rule, the length of the probationary period in Russian monasteries is three years. However, it can be reduced, depending on how well-behaved and morally stable you show yourself in the monastery.
4) After the expiration of the probationary period of stay in the monastery, the abbot will make a proposal for tonsure to the ruling Bishop, and you will be able to accept the monastic rank.
For each person, faith in God and love for Him means something different. On the one hand, in trusting God we need to go through several steps: at the beginning we do not know God and do not turn to Him, then we only fear God and ask Him for help, finally, we begin to sincerely love God and try to do various things for the sake of God, imitate the saints in relation to people and the Lord. This is the right path for every Orthodox Christian.
But there are also unusual people who love God with all their hearts and do not see any other way for themselves other than serving Him and dedicating themselves to the Lord. These are true monks. Such people may even be successful in the world, but at the same time they will miss something - just as a lover misses his beloved by his side. And only in prayer does the future monk find peace.
In our article we will tell you how a woman and a man can go to a monastery, how nunneries and women’s monasteries differ, how to prepare for monastic life and what to expect in a monastery, we will warn against wrong decisions and give examples of saints who have correctly chosen the monastic path.
Why do people go to a monastery today?
“Go to a monastery” is an interesting well-established expression, phraseological unit. If you think about it, you can come to a monastery, or you can go to a monastery for something. The holy fathers and spiritual mentors of all times warned: you should only go to a monastery if you feel that you cannot live without God.
If you have troubles in life, unhappy love, have nowhere to live, can’t find a job, you can’t go to a monastery to escape your problems! Alas, even today people often go to a monastery for an easy life without problems. However, in a monastery such people sooner or later have an even more difficult time than in the world (outside the monastery).
Fortunately, you can simply live in a monastery for some time - you will not pay for accommodation and food, but you will do any assigned work - this is called labor. It does not impose any obligations, you can return from the monastery at any time, but while in the monastery, you will live according to the rules of the monastery and will be able to experience monastic life at least in part.
You need to understand that a monastery is, first of all, a renunciation of one’s will. You will not pray constantly and as much as you want - you will improve spiritually under the guidance of your spiritual father, doing both physical labor and spiritual work.
The monastery and the world: pros and cons
- If you understand that you really want to renounce your life and go to a monastery, consider the following difficult moments of monastic life.
- In a monastery you need to work a lot, both physically and spiritually.
- In the monastery, early rises and late bedtimes, life according to the schedule established by the authorities is the monastic rule.
- You can be punished for not doing certain work, for example, you can be assigned to dirty work.
- You are unlikely to immediately work in your worldly specialty (if you have one). Most likely, you will first undergo a test of humility: doing hard physical work (in the kitchen, in the barnyard, in the garden).
- In the monastery you will feel like a complete beginner, a nobody. You will live, renouncing your will and following instructions, seven days a week.
- You will be able to pray at monastic services, perhaps perform obediences in church - but not always. It happens that the inhabitants of the monastery themselves cannot attend monastic services because of obediences - this is the name of the work that needs to be done for the benefit of the monastery. Of course, no one will pay you money for obedience.
- The monastery is yours new family, whose members you do not choose, but accept as they are. Therefore, your boss or boss can also be a nun or monk with character difficulties that have not yet been overcome by asceticism; the employees may be spiritually inexperienced people from a different social class (often both intelligent people and “proletarians” live in the monastery).
However, many remain in the monastery because of the spiritual “advantages”, because such a life under the guidance of spiritually experienced people is a life for God and people, eternal self-improvement, work on oneself, which is full of temptations modern world difficult or impossible to perform.
- For the most part, the inhabitants of monasteries are good and kind people, although in positions of authority they often try to behave strictly. They will try to help you.
- The Lord with His love and grace will replace your wife or husband. You will not worry about an unsettled personal life and be afraid to trust someone.
- Your efforts will be aimed at self-improvement, prayer, helping people and working for the benefit of the monastery. It's a very complete life.
- Prayer will always be present in your life, as will like-minded people in prayer and faith in God.
- The greatest spiritual joys and consolation are found in the monastery. However, here are the most difficult temptations.
The monastery is your new birth, where you rediscover yourself.
How to prepare to enter a monastery?
First you need to live close to a monastic life in the world.
- Read the morning and evening prayer rules every day, located in each prayer book and taking about 15 minutes. (For monks it is even greater).
- Attend church services every Saturday evening and Sunday morning.
- Proceed at least once a month to the Sacraments of Confession and Communion.
- Know the basics of the Orthodox faith, read more spiritual books and instructions of the holy fathers of the Church, the Gospel.
- Limit viewing of TV and entertainment sites on the Internet as much as possible.
- Limit idle communication with friends and family, friendly trips to entertainment places (in the monastery, this is not prohibited for monks, but only some time after leaving. So you should try to give this up first).
- Observe strictly fast days and long fasts (Great, Petrov, Uspensky, Rozhdestvensky).
- Try to completely abstain from meat (according to the monastic rules, monks do not eat meat).
- Get rid of bad habits: smoking, alcohol (monks drink alcohol, but only in small quantities and on holidays).
- Try to let a guest into your room or apartment - after all, monks usually live in cells of several people.
- Try to spend as little money on yourself as possible (there will be almost none in the monastery).
Every monk who comes to the monastery and every monk who has already taken monastic vows is not an angel. Everyone struggled with their habits and shortcomings. Many have conquered themselves. It’s okay if it’s very difficult for you: you will understand whether you are really ready to go to the monastery. And even in a monastery it will not be easy for you - again, monastic tonsure is performed with the consent of the person and not immediately, sometimes several years after joining the monastery.
The difference - novice, laborer and monk
- A laborer is a person who came to the monastery for a while without a firm intention to stay in it.
- A novice is a person who has entered a monastery, performs only obediences (hence the name), lives according to the rules of the monastery (that is, living as a novice, you cannot go to see friends for the night, go on dates with us, and so on), but have not made monastic vows.
- A monk (cassophore novice) is a person who has the right to wear monastic robes, but has not taken all monastic vows. He only receives a new name, a symbolic hair cut, and the opportunity to wear some symbolic clothes. At this time, a person has the opportunity to refuse to become a monk; this will not be a sin.
- A monk is a person who has taken on the mantle (small angelic image), the small schema of the schema. He takes vows of obedience to the abbot of the monastery, renunciation of the world and non-acquisitiveness - that is, the absence of his property, everything from now on belongs to the monastery and the monastery itself takes upon itself the responsibility to provide for a person’s life. This tonsure of monks has been going on since ancient times and continues to the present day.
All these levels exist in both women's and women's monasteries. Monastic rules are the same for everyone, but in different monasteries there are different traditions and customs, relaxations and tightening of the charter.
A woman can go to a nunnery or a nunnery - this is the only difference. The difference is that there are almost no nunnery monasteries left today, unlike in pre-revolutionary times. Only a girl (virgin) has the right to go to a nunnery. Doctors, of course, don’t check this, but they testify verbally before God.
We will tell you about the path of the current Primate of the Russian Orthodox Church, His Holiness Patriarch Kirill and Venerable Ambrose - one of the most famous Russian spiritual elders, mentors for monastic vows. Based on their lives, you will be able to compare your life and your reasons for entering a monastery with their reasons and life outcomes.
You can also pray to Saint Ambrose for the right decision whether to enter a monastery.
Patriarch Kirill
The future Patriarch was born in 1946 in Leningrad, receiving the name Vladimir at birth. His Holiness's family was priestly. His grandfather, a priest, was in prison many times from the 1920s to the 1940s. The Patriarch's father Mikhail was a Leningrad priest, and his brother to this day is the rector of the Transfiguration Cathedral in Leningrad-Petersburg, a professor at the St. Petersburg Theological Academy. After graduating from high school, the future Patriarch worked on geological expeditions in the North to earn money for his family, combining this employment with schooling. Then he entered the St. Petersburg Theological Seminary, and upon graduation, entered the Academy. After completing his studies at the seminary in 1969, Vladimir Gundyaev was tonsured a monk by Metropolitan Nikodim (Rotov) of Leningrad and Novgorod, his spiritual mentor. Obviously, it was his advice and guidance that played a role in making the decision to tonsure the future Primate as a monk. Patriarch Kirill to this day, on each of his visits to the Northern capital, serves a memorial service at the grave of Bishop Nicodemus.
Life of Ambrose of Optina
The future saint was born in 1812. The father of the future saint soon died, and Alexander, along with seven other brothers and sisters, was raised by his grandfather. From childhood, Alexander had a penchant for monastic life, prayer and deeds, but did not immediately decide on monastic obedience, deciding at first to become an ordinary priest. At the age of 12, the future saint entered the Tambov Theological School, then the seminary. It is known that in the last class of the seminary - just when it was necessary to decide on marriage and service as a priest in a parish or tonsure and service in a monastery - Alexander became very ill. In a life-threatening condition, he prayed a lot and made a vow to God to take monastic vows.
However, the future saint did not immediately fulfill his vow. After graduating from the seminary, he got a job as a teacher in the family of a local landowner, then taught at the Lipetsk Theological School. He said that he put off obedience for a long time, despite the reproaches of his conscience - after all, any saint is the same person as each of us; he is not an Angel and makes mistakes, sins, repents. The main difference between a holy person and a sinner is that he measures his entire life against God's commandments, makes her goal to please God, and is ready for exploits for this, that is, the worsening of her living conditions, the refusal of comfort. It is known that during his studies and work with the landowner, Alexander was the “life of the party”, sang well and even danced (which is surprising for a seminarian), moved a lot in secular society and knew the mood of the intelligentsia.
Thus, Saint Ambrose was not immediately enlightened by the grace of God, but he grew in holiness and was not able to immediately renounce worldly pleasures. Perhaps he even hoped to get married. The main turning point in the fate of the monk was the pilgrimage to the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, where he almost by chance met the spirit-bearing elder and ascetic. Confessing, he told about himself, and the ascetic blessed him to go to the recently opened Holy Vvedenskaya Optina Hermitage. Now the young man decisively broke ties with the world and left for the monastery, without even asking permission from the authorities of the school where he worked, and immediately entered the monastery for obedience. Thus began the difficult, sorrowful, but bright in the consolation of God, the path of the Monk Ambrose, the elder comforter of all Russia.
O great elder and saint of God, our reverend father Ambrose, praise to the Optina Hermitage and to all Rus', teacher of piety! We glorify your humble life in Christ and the miracles with which God Himself exalted your name above other people even during your earthly life. He especially crowned you with heavenly honor after your departure from the mortal earth to the heavenly palaces of eternal glory. Accept now our prayers, your unworthy children (names) and the servants of God who honor you and call your name your sacred, by your intercession before the throne of God, deliver us from all sorrows and life difficulties, mental and physical illnesses, attacks of evil spirits and unrighteous people, corrupting and deceptive temptations. Send peace, silence and calm days to our Fatherland and Motherland from the grace of God, be invariably the patron of your holy monastery, where you yourself performed feats of prayer and pleased our God, glorified by all in the Trinity, to whom glory, honor and triumph belong, the Father, the Son, The Holy Spirit is eternal. Amen.
May the Lord protect you through the prayers of all saints!
