Mental pain, suffering - every person experienced this torment. Resentment from betrayal, betrayal, injustice, grief, melancholy - all these feelings are associated with pain that cannot be relieved with medication.
Unfortunately, many people, trying to escape the pain that torments them, find themselves trapped in addictions. This applies to alcohol, drugs, and gambling addiction.
Running away from problems is for the weak. It sounds corny, but it's true. Most people, who tend not to take responsibility for their lives, who look for the cause of failures and mental discomfort from the outside, cannot survive the slightest pain and do everything not to feel it, which only aggravates the situation.
On the other hand, mental pain pushes creative people to create masterpieces; for example, the most beautiful poems are written precisely in a state of mental anguish, looking for a way out.
What to do when your soul hurts?
Let's look at a few possible situations when torment arises, and let's try to understand how to heal mental wounds.
Hidden benefit
Psychological work with a problem begins with establishing its cause. If you communicate with people who constantly "hit" the possibility, you will not need psychotherapy. It will be enough to change your environment. But if you deliberately find yourself next to such people over and over again, it makes sense to think about why you need this. What pushes you to such “self-torture”? Is there some hidden benefit for you in this?
Very often it causes severe mental pain. In this case, treatment will be useless as long as there is a need to achieve hidden goals. In order to do so, it is necessary to identify them and revise them.
Grief
Another one common reason mental pain - a prolonged experience, for example, from a person or from the loss of a close relative.
In these cases, the help of a psychologist is often necessary, but the person himself can take steps to get rid of the problem.
Firstly, there is no need to fuel memories by looking at photographs of departed people or listening to sad music. Secondly, try to switch your attention to new activities, do what you like most, and most importantly, do not be alone.
When experiencing grief, there is a period when you need to endure the acute pain and let it go. A psychotherapist can help with this. If you are unable to forget the deceased person, try to mentally talk to him and say goodbye. Left alone, light a candle, think about the one who left, internally let him go, making the decision to continue living. Very often, such a choice requires real courage.
Bodily tension
Any phenomena of our consciousness, one way or another, manifest themselves at the bodily level. Acute mental pain leads to the appearance of areas of tension, or muscle tension, in the body. For example, a hunched, tense back, “petrified” shoulders, clenched jaws. Such manifestations are a consequence of restraint. Movement frees the body, returns life to it, and, as a result, mental pain ceases to be unbearable, it “blooms” and gradually goes away. Try to move more, walk, play sports, even if at first it will be difficult for you to force yourself to devote time to this. This will help you cope with pain.
Working with Restraint
You often hear: “Don’t keep your grief to yourself, talk it out, you will feel better.” This is true. On initial stage a person needs to release negative emotions and share experiences with loved ones. If you have no one to talk to, you can do a simple job: take a piece of paper and write on it what worries you, what torments you, what hurts your soul. If you write sincerely and do not hold back, you will quickly feel relief. This work is useful because it helps you understand yourself better, and the experiences taken outside no longer seem so scary and insurmountable. By the way, it is recommended to destroy the piece of paper after completing the work. For example, it can be burned. This symbolic action will help you release negative emotions.
Defeat
Mental pain can also be caused by the experience of defeat in a matter that is very important to a person. In this case, the memories come back again and again, a feeling of shame arises, and thoughts of what should have been done are tormented. Similar state of mind will be cured if a person finds the cause of his defeat and builds a different course of action. You need to stop self-searching and understand what led to failure, and what qualities you need to change in yourself to avoid this in the future.
In general, the psychology of experience is built on looking for support in your mind, and only then working with feelings. is the master of himself and his life, which allows him to experience negative emotions without being captured by them. In addition, having learned to think and build our lives correctly, we begin to work for the future, eliminating the occurrence of mental pain and developing resilience in the face of a variety of life circumstances.
Heartache allows you to gain new experience and maturity. The main thing is not to be afraid to live in the present to the fullest, rejoicing, grieving, suffering, learning lessons and achieving new victories. After all, we all came into this world to experience the fullness of existence, and not to hide in a cocoon of experiences. Think about it, you can live and continuously move forward, or you can “experience”, that is, remain in place while life passes by. The choice is yours.
Physical pain is actually much easier to stop than mental pain. If not with medical help, then upon reaching a certain pain threshold, the body will “turn off” your consciousness itself. But mental suffering, as the experience of many shows, can continue almost indefinitely.
I once heard a phrase from a client that perfectly conveys this fear: “I am afraid of constant emotional suffering.” Yes, indeed, a person is afraid that he will not be able to stop his mental pain, and with good reason - a person’s brain works even in a dream, and most often it is the source of mental pain.
But let's take a closer look at its "anatomy".
Navigation for the article “Where does mental pain come from?”
It is no secret to many that under the influence of certain bodily factors, mood can change. Hormones, for example, play a very important role in this.
There are also factors that are difficult to notice with the naked eye: a person may lack certain chemical substances, which may affect his mood (for example, serotonin or dopamine deficiency), but not know about it.
Often, if this deficiency is acute enough, it can lead to chronic, which doctors call endogenous, increased anxiety, depression, apathy or uncontrollable mood swings.
And if you notice that your depressed state is not corrected by any psychological methods, then most likely you should examine your body chemistry as seriously as possible.
But now we will talk about what happens to ordinary people, with most of us - fluctuations in the emotional background, which can be unpleasant, but not acute and do not last very long. However, this is often perceived as heartache.
Most women, for example, experience symptoms premenstrual syndrome or mood swings after childbirth, during breastfeeding. Such sudden mood changes are also common in men; it’s just that the cyclical nature of hormonal fluctuations in men is more difficult to track than in women.
As a rule, the situation looks similar for both men and women. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, everything began to seem disgusting, everything irritated, or vice versa - indifference set in, all desires disappeared.
To begin with, of course, it is worth thinking about the reasons. How – we will talk about this below. But if you understand well that there are no obvious reasons, and the processes that are taking place in your life do not in any way point to the cause of such drastic changes, most likely it is physiology.
Sometimes nothing can be done about it in emergency mode. After all, to find out what reason led to such a chemical failure, a whole program of analyzes is needed. And while you (even if you wanted to) did this, the fortune would have exhausted itself long ago.
There is only one way to cope with this - not to draw any serious conclusions from it. At a minimum, don’t do them right away.
Often a person begins to focus on this state, experiencing it as something significant that determines his entire future life. And it is, of course, perceived as heartache, and completely seriously.
Through the prism of this state, he thinks about whether he is doing the right thing in life, and sometimes takes rash steps.
In my practice, there was an example when a woman, being subject to periods of such a state, each time began to think that she needed to separate from her husband. Claims and quarrels began, she had the feeling that their marriage had not worked out, that there was no understanding, that everything depended only on the children.
She literally started packing her bags. And then, after a few days, this whole state seemed to dissolve. The feeling of hopelessness and total loneliness, alienation, disappeared, and the woman realized that she did not have a single truly deep complaint against her husband.
It passed, and in return came an understanding: even if there is something to work on in a relationship, everything is not so serious as to devalue their marriage.
Interestingly, all this was not tied to the monthly cycle; she was visited by this state more often than once every few months. Perhaps it was tied to some seasons, we were not able to fully find out.
Something else is important. She underwent a medical examination, but it did not reveal anything serious. Her fatigue from periods of acute despair and hopelessness was already very great. But we managed to develop a different attitude towards him.
We are not only what is with us this moment is happening. Emotions, especially when they are related to physiology, like the wind, the ebb and flow of the tides, like the rain - what can you do about the fact that this is happening?
Think about it: at different times in your life you experience different feelings and are in different states. And all of this is you. Joy and sadness, suffering and delight, mental and physical activity, logic and intuition coexist perfectly in a person.
At any given moment, a person’s condition is determined by several leading factors. And they change depending on life situations, health status, presence/absence of support and warmth, availability of space for oneself, environment, situation, etc.
Can we, getting into one of our many states, consider it the only true one and draw conclusions from it about our entire life? No. However, this is exactly what often happens, as in the example of the woman who made very global conclusions about her life based on a temporary state.
The observer is that part of the personality that helps you experience the state, immerse yourself in it if you need it, not suppress the feelings you are experiencing, but at the same time remain “in touch” with the understanding that this state is temporary and can Don't talk about anything serious yet.
The observer is something like a black box in an airplane. He records and remembers everything that happens. Only, unlike an airplane box, you can decipher it at any time. It is the observer who will tell you that this has already happened to you.
The observer is a mechanism of internal reflection; it is a constant critical look at oneself. Critical in the sense of “from the outside,” and not in the sense of “criticizing.” This is the one who will help you not only see what is happening, but also remind you, for example, that something similar has already happened to you, and when.
To develop the observer in you, imagine that you are telling someone about what is happening to you. Train yourself to do this constantly, as if you were writing a book about yourself every day and voicing this text within yourself.
It doesn’t have to be a highly artistic work, it’s only important for you. The most important thing in this text is to begin with, name your feelings: “I’m angry”, “this irritates me”, “I feel sad”, “I feel depressed and despair” or “I feel real delight”, “I feel very calm” , “I feel sympathy”, etc.
Over time, you may no longer need this text, you will observe yourself without words, but words at first are very helpful in not identifying yourself 100% with the emotional background inside you.
I would like to draw your attention once again: observing does not mean suppressing feelings, not forbidding yourself to experience them. It’s just seeing what’s happening a little from the outside and being able to describe your state for yourself. While continuing to naturally experience the feelings that are currently relevant.
A person who does not have this inner observer suppresses his feelings more often than one who does have it. By naming a feeling, you make it conscious and clear to yourself. And by not naming it and not wanting to observe it, you are most likely repressing it before it even becomes clear to you.
But, what is most interesting, it is precisely in case of insufficient awareness of your feelings and motives that you begin to act under the influence of this state. It’s as if there is no feeling, but the action is there.
A person in this state describes his actions as follows: “when he did/said this, I wanted to do/say this in response, I did, and it led to this.” More often - to something not very desirable.
Look carefully: the action of another is described and the response that occurs immediately, without understanding why it is like this, on what basis, what feelings and motives led to it.
And most importantly, it is as if a person is depriving himself of the choice of this reaction, acting “automatically”, and under the influence of this temporary emotion, which he himself does not even really know about.
It is not surprising that in this situation people step on the same rake, do not learn from their mistakes, and most importantly, the mental pain in their lives grows day by day.
The picture of such an attitude towards life and towards others reminds me of a battlefield where everyone is hitting each other blindly, not understanding who is friend and who is enemy, receiving blows from all sides and not being able to stop all this violence.
Having an observer helps you come to an understanding of what, when, how and for what reasons you react, where your mental pain comes from. Subsequently, identify some kind of system in this. Get to know yourself better and learn to manage yourself.
Managing is not the same as suppressing and controlling. To manage is to understand the essence of your reactions and be able to make free choices regarding these reactions.
Yes, not in all cases you can fully make this choice - just when your condition is dictated by physiology, then perhaps you cannot change the condition itself, but you can change your attitude towards it.
And by this you will already achieve a serious advantage - you will stop “winding up” yourself and aggravating the already unhappy state with a negative assessment of it, you will not “increase the degree” of this state due to suffering over the fact that it exists at all.
But in most cases, you can not only change your attitude, you can change the condition itself if you are aware of it and can understand its causes. We'll talk about this next.
Conflict of expectations and reality
Heartache mainly stems from this conflict. You have an expectation/desire for it to be this way. Reality is not always disposed to realize this expectation exactly the way and exactly as and when you would like.
Moreover, the person himself sets too many conditions for reality: it should be now/tomorrow, it should come from that person, in exactly this form, and if everything does not happen exactly like that, then you experience resentment, powerlessness, pain and suffering .
Buddha also said that desires are suffering, and if we become too attached to them, we suffer very much. But a person cannot help but desire, and someone who does not want anything and does not strive for anything is also unlikely to be happy and productive.
How to find the balance point in this process? Form your own hierarchy of values, realize what is important to you and what is not so important, be able to isolate the essence of your desires and not set too many conditions for the universe.
In this process of figuring out the relationship between reality and expectations, there are several points that you should pay attention to.
Degree of importance
We don’t always understand what we really want and what we are ready for. A person fantasizes that he could have a job like a friend’s, but at the same time he does not know all its possible side effects.
We sometimes create ideas about something based on distorted or incomplete information. As in this example with work - without knowing everything, a person snatches some pieces from the surrounding reality: high salary, prestigious social status, project management.
But in reality, an acquaintance sometimes takes work home, he is sometimes called on weekends, his boss is a complete tyrant, and his team is so-so. An acquaintance may be ready to put up with this for all the above-mentioned advantages, but whether you are ready to put up with exactly this is a big question.
Or, for example, you want meet your other half. And you also begin to assemble the image of the “prince” from pieces - once upon a time at your first young man, with whom we broke up “out of stupidity,” had blue eyes. And now you definitely want blue ones, because you have created the belief for yourself: “with blue eyes he will definitely be cheerful,” which is what the last guy was.
And your friend’s husband is an IT specialist, he’s calm and doesn’t find fault with everyday life, so, you think, you too would like someone who doesn’t find fault, otherwise you don’t want to stand at the stove all day long, not for the sake of any prince. This is how the conviction arises that it would be better if he were a computer scientist, etc.
This is how images of what we want are constructed from the parts we see. Of course, such an image cannot be called complete, and not a single person will correspond to the wishes “pulled” by you from different layers of reality.
And the most unpleasant thing about this is that you still won’t be able to create a complete picture of what you want in detail, because the brain, like a computer, operates only with loaded information. And you have to be very arrogant to think that you know everything about this universe and its possibilities.
Therefore, try to highlight the most essential - what you definitely cannot do without. And this is unlikely to be a person’s specific profession or the color of his eyes. Of course, we have some significant guidelines regarding the appearance of our partner, but try to highlight what is really important and what is not so important.
It is not the profession that is important, but the attitude towards everyday life. What is important is the color of your eyes as such, and the ability to rejoice that you associated with it. It is important not what specific books and films a person has read/watched, but what kind of worldview they have formed, etc.
Deadlines
In general, most of us want everything “immediately and now,” or better yet, “yesterday.” Sometimes, of course, specific deadlines are set - “in a year”, “in a month”, “in five years”, etc. But you determine this period based on the situation at the moment.
What will happen in a week? Or in a month? It may happen that a lot will change. But most often forget to revise plans in accordance with new changes in reality. Or he doesn’t notice these changes at all.
The deadline is approaching, the plans do not come true - and here you are again in mental pain. But have you asked yourself the question - why exactly such a period? What changes so significantly if this period is different?
Example. “I’m already 30, and I still don’t have children, I planned that by 30 I would already have two!” - the life of this woman passes in constant suffering about her inferiority, the conclusion about which was made only on the basis that the plans did not come true.
Ask yourself a few questions. Why do I need this? How will I feel if I receive this? Could I have similar feelings in a different situation? How is my feeling connected with the object or situation that is the object of my desires?
A simple example. A man wants a car. For what? In theory, to travel, to go out of town or not to carry bags from the store. Why else? To experience feelings. Comfort, safety, security.
Then does it really matter whether he buys a used Opel or a new Nissan Qashqai? By and large, none. But sometimes a person convinces himself that without “qashqai” he cannot be happy.
Although, if he had thought about why he needed the Qashqai, he would have understood: he lacks respect from others. And “driving warm and not carrying bags” could be provided by an Opel.
And only because his colleagues associate this particular car with success, good luck, a good life, etc. - he wants a Qashqai, takes out unaffordable loans, and then the car often sits outside the house, because there simply isn’t enough money for gasoline, as well as for full maintenance.
The machine is not meant to provide respect. It is designed to ride and carry, with varying degrees of speed and comfort. And if a person had asked himself all the questions listed above in time, then perhaps he would have been convinced that he didn’t need a car either.
False desires are, as a rule, those that someone imposed on us by manipulating our feelings: fear, the desire to gain respect and recognition, the desire to feel complete in the eyes of others, the desire to prove something to someone, etc. And behind this there is often the main thing - the desire to accept and love oneself.
We become most attached to false ones precisely because we do not believe in the possibility of obtaining the feelings we are looking for (and, of course, the feelings we need) in another way, we do not see these ways.
But if you break the usual connection in your head “respect - fashionable car” and leave only “respect”, a lot of options will appear. Another thing is that often a person is simply scared to look for these options.
After all, here it seems like it’s already been verified, they respect it. Almost a guarantee. And if you look for other options, it remains to be seen whether you will be able to get what you are looking for.
On the contrary, true desires are those to which we go no matter what, no matter what the opinions of others, despite someone’s protests or bewilderment. This is what we do calmly and confidently, and we are not particularly tormented by the timing or the exact contours of the event.
Example. If a person needs his own home, then the most basic thing in this desire will be a certain sense of ownership of his own space, but the timing, contours and where this house may be located are easily subject to correction during the search process.
And it is in such a search that a person easily interacts with the environment. Let's say the opportunity comes up for him to buy a room. Yes, this is not a dream home, but the most important thing for a person is to have his own space. Well, he thinks, this is where he can start.
And he begins to actively invest in this space - strength, money, skills, soul, in the end. In this process, he learns even better what his home should be like. At first he thought it was an apartment. But living in a communal apartment changed his view, he began to understand that he wanted a house outside the city, and he is grateful to this communal apartment for a more accurate understanding of his own goal.
And then he gets the opportunity to buy a wrecked car on a good plot of land and not far from the city. He sells the room and buys a junk car. At the same time, it is also not the house of his dreams, but he again begins to invest his strength, skills, money and time.
After a while, a decent house turns out of a tumbledown house.... Need I tell you that after some time this person may well end up in a luxurious mansion on the sea coast?
And it's simple - he managed to do a few key things:
- Indicate the most important thing in what you are looking for
- Do not be rigidly attached to the form and deadlines
- React flexibly to suggestions and opportunities of reality
- Learn from them and from them
- Be happy with what you have and invest in it, without waiting for “ideality”
- Don’t be afraid to adjust initial plans and be able to give up false ideas
- Don’t get stuck on achievements, set new goals and go towards them
So, let's summarize
Heartache comes from:
- Not a convenient, not environmentally friendly attitude towards those temporary states that arise in each of us due to a complex chemical structure. Simply put, the majority not only goes along with any emotions, but also aggravates them with a negative assessment of the very fact of their presence
- A conflict between expectations and reality, while a person rarely critically rethinks the specific characteristics of what is desired and the timing. He often confuses what was imposed from the outside with his own real needs, and becomes too attached to the specific contours of the desired events, unable to highlight the most important things in his desires, as well as flexibly respond to the opportunities provided by reality and interact productively with them.
In the next article I will try to describe how to use the inner observer, how to specifically work to become aware of your needs and how to stop being attached to specific contours of events: How to become conscious: practice and techniques
Mental pain is discomfort that a person feels inside himself, but it is not related to any organ. Therefore, there is no medicine to eliminate this disorder.
The severity of unpleasant sensations is different for all people, as well as reactions to mental wounds. Some, banally, reduce suffering with the help alcoholic drinks, others run away from reality on the Internet.
A specialist psychotherapist will tell you how to cope with mental pain with minimal consequences for psychological and physical health. However, not everyone will go to a doctor for help, trying to solve the problem on their own. Thus only aggravating the situation.
Development mechanism
Mental pain is a person’s emotional reaction to a negative change in his usual way of life. Most often, it is preceded by a significant loss - the death of a loved one, betrayal or loss of social status.
A quickly emerging negative emotion is assessed by a person as a significant experience for him - a deep spiritual feeling. It has great importance for the full formation of personality, being a significant link in psychological activity.
Most experts attribute mental suffering to subjective sensations. However, modern research made it possible to refute this statement - in the images obtained using magnetic resonance imaging, foci of activation in the limbic system of the brain are clearly visible, as a response to the moral trauma inflicted.
In addition, severe mental pain can be perceived by a person as psychogenic - felt by him on the physical level. For example, pain impulses in the area of the heart, head, abdomen. Relationships with somatic pathologies cannot be established, nor can they be confirmed by instrumental examinations. Therefore no medicines unable to cope with mental anguish. Only a highly qualified psychotherapist can help.
Causes
Mental anguish can also appear for other reasons:
- a constant feeling of fear - living in a family with an accentuated personality prone to physical violence;
- long-held emotions of anger - highly paid work under the guidance of personally hostile management, when the “tyrant boss” gives directly contradictory instructions, demanding to perform such a volume of duties that one person cannot do it, and as a result, it is formed in conjunction with mental suffering;
- deficiency in the body of certain chemicals - neurotransmitters, which can be expressed by hyperexcitation of brain structures, depletion of their ability to compensate;
- disruption of the endocrine organs, provoking the constant production of anxiety and stress hormones - hyperthyroidism, pheochromocytoma;
- a person’s own fixation on his own troubles - looking at photographs of a deceased close relative, returning to memories of happy moments in the past;
- subconsciously existing need to receive benefits - mental pain only serves as a disguise for a person’s selfish motives, the desire to receive from others material goods or increased attention in response to demonstrated torment of the soul.
Only a competent psychotherapist can put everything in its place - establish the true reasons for deteriorating well-being and suggest how to get rid of mental pain.
Pain in the soul can also arise due to separation from a loved one. : recommendations of a psychiatrist.
Symptoms
Many people describe their negative emotions and worries this way: for them, mental pain is an unpleasant, intense feeling of constant melancholy and painful internal suffering.
At the peak of psychological discomfort, physical disorders may even appear - asthenia with persistent dizziness, migraines, palpitations and nausea, or sleep disturbances, lack of appetite.
For some people, the mental pain from love, or rather its loss, can even exceed in severity and intensity the sensations from a burn, injury, or broken leg. The situation is also aggravated by the need to hide one’s feelings from others and maintain a “social face.”
Hidden internal processes can result in the following somatic signs and physiological symptoms:
- feeling of pressure behind the sternum;
- a fossil somewhere in the area of the chest, head;
- unpleasant constant burning sensation, coldness in the chest;
- stitching, pressing impulses in the heart;
- discomfort, spasms in the intestines - the upper or lower abdomen, at a certain point;
- constant presence of nausea - comes in waves or is felt every minute;
- disorders in the cardiovascular system - slowing of the pulse - bradycardia, or its increase - tachycardia, fluctuations in blood pressure parameters.
However, others may not pay attention to the physical manifestations of mental anguish, especially if they are not so clearly demonstrated, while emotional manifestations are more clearly monitored. Depression, depressed mood, apathy, anxiety, lack of interest in all current events, “numbness,” “numbness.”
Sometimes the sensations are so exotic that they can already be perceived as signs of emerging psychopathies - the heart was torn out of the chest, everything inside was torn and bled.
How to deal with pain in your soul on your own
Since people are socially dependent creatures, pain in the soul most often arises due to a break in a relationship with a loved one. Emotional distress may be so intense that it affects activities internal organs- hearts, nervous system, Gastrointestinal tract.
Mental experiences go through several stages, each of which will have its own emotions. Mental pain after breaking up with a loved one begins with the stage of denial - an unwillingness to understand that the relationship is over. This is expressed in a constant return to thoughts about a loved one and the desire to see him.
Since meetings do not take place, emotions move to the next stage - indignation and hatred. The abandoned soul mate strives to throw out the pain, taking revenge on everyone accessible ways. Such actions bring relief, but only for a short time. And only then comes the stage of accepting the breakup, when emotional experiences lose their intensity and decrease.
To speed up the process of psychological recovery after a breakup with a loved one, experts have developed several recommendations on how to relieve mental pain at home:
- switch to other activities - do charity work, join a hobby group;
visit art exhibitions and film premieres more often with friends; - accept the separation as a fact and end the relationship, getting rid of all things that may remind you of past events;
- start visiting a fitness center, swimming pool, gym - physical activity not only helps relieve nervous tension, but also gives a feeling of joy and self-satisfaction;
- restore old relationships with old friends and go to visit them - communicating with once familiar, but forgotten people, learning new events in their lives, all this helps to distract yourself and survive mental discomfort.
There is no single scheme for how to survive mental pain - each person has to experience various methods and techniques for dealing with the torment of the soul, choosing the best option for themselves.
If mental suffering occurs in one person or another, it is necessary to carefully analyze the situation and one’s own feelings, and find out what could have caused them. Thus, family grief - the loss of a loved one, divorce, serious illness - require a certain time interval to adapt to new circumstances. There is no need to rush or rush yourself.
Without special skills, many people, having listened to the advice of strangers, try to get rid of mental discomfort, constantly remembering unpleasant events, “sprinkling salt” on the wounds of the soul.
Daily dramatization only aggravates the disorder, and does not relieve the torment. Subsequently, it takes much more time and effort to overcome mental anguish - it is better to just speak out once and try to accept the event in your life as it is.
Some people simply exaggerate their own suffering - they fight with “windmills”. Whereas after reassessing what is happening, you can understand that troubles are completely solvable. They are only part of the complex mechanism of the universe and, against the background of the movement of planets in space, are not at all significant for humanity. By minimizing your own troubles, it is much easier to cope with them.
It is imperative to believe in your own strengths, in the possibility that you will be able to “make friends” with the problem and overcome it. By taking the time to thoroughly examine the situation – together with best friend, a psychotherapist, having understood what exactly can be done, the person is thereby already taking steps for his mental recovery.
Another direction in the fight against mental discord is to reconsider your lifestyle. Active physical work helps to escape from the bottomless abyss of melancholy and depression - carry out long-planned renovations in the apartment, start attending yoga classes, a swimming pool. You should pay attention to your diet - enrich it with vegetables and fruits, useful microelements and vitamins. Sleep is an equally important component of health. It takes about 8-9 hours for the brain to have the opportunity to calm down and process everyday events.
Helping the soul overcome discord is within the power of every person. You just need to set a similar goal for yourself, and also listen to the opinions of experts in this field.
There is physical and mental pain. The first one is quite easy to deal with, because modern medicine can quickly determine its source and prescribe the necessary course of treatment. But with mental pain everything is much more complicated. Therefore, many people live with it for years without fully understanding what caused it to appear.
But psychology does not stand still. Having delved into the nooks and crannies of consciousness, experts have learned a lot about the human psyche, in particular how to get rid of mental pain. By following simple tips, you can not only overcome your internal suffering, but also regain lost happiness.
Mental pain: what is it?
It is very difficult to give an accurate description of this phenomenon. After all, the inner world cannot be measured, touched, and even less seen. But at the same time, the sensations of psychological trauma are no less painful than those of a fracture or burn, and sometimes they can be much worse.
So what is heartache? First of all, it is a feeling caused by consciousness in response to emotional shock. Depending on the cause of its occurrence, the pain can be either barely noticeable or heartbreaking. But even after minor shocks, a person feels overwhelmed and broken, as if he had run out of electricity.
And if you do nothing, then soon the pain will be complemented by despair. And when you give up completely, depression will come. But fighting this enemy is much more difficult, and sometimes even impossible without the help of a specialist.
But before you learn how to cope with mental pain, you should understand its sources. After all, this is the only way to overcome her without harming yourself.
Where do emotional shocks come from?
Many are sure that emotional distress can only arise after serious emotional upheaval. For example, the death of a loved one, the discovery of a serious illness, an accident, betrayal, and so on. Naturally, such life shocks will affect a person’s psyche, but the truth is that in most cases, the causes of mental pain are less noticeable reasons.
So, what can disrupt inner harmony and let confusion into your soul?
1. Life behind the mask. IN modern world Often you have to lie, not only to others, but also to yourself. This is necessary to present yourself in a better light - to become more significant. But you will have to pay for the lie with your peace of mind, because our consciousness does not like being played with. And even more so, it will not calmly accept the fact that they want to change it.
2. Unfinished tasks. Quite often, mental pain arises from dissatisfaction with one’s own actions. For example, when, because of work, you have to sacrifice a child’s performance, or when, instead of going to the gym, a person lay on the couch all day. All these unfulfilled dreams, plans and meetings fall like a dead weight on your shoulders and are guaranteed to lead to emotional depression.
3. Impotence. Lack of money, strength, beauty, health, knowledge - this list can be continued for a very long time, but the essence is the same - powerlessness. When a person cannot get what he wants, he suffers.
There's nothing worse than unrequited love
Heartache from love is a separate case. Unlike other troubles, unrequited feelings can hurt greatly. And the more a person strives to get the object of his desire, the stronger the pain digs into his heart.
In such cases, it is often said that the person seems to be drying out. This is partly true, because apart from dreams of his beloved, he is not interested in anything. It becomes completely unimportant what is happening around, what people are around and what to do next.
And in order to save its owner from danger, consciousness sends him an alarm signal - pain. In this way, the brain tries to force a person to look around and understand that it is impossible to live like this any longer.
Three strict prohibitions
Before you begin your own healing, you should remember one thing important rule: Never slide into the abyss of vice. Indeed, during this period the temptation is very great, and, alas, many succumb to it, making more and more attempts to quench their pain with the help of alcohol, nicotine and drugs.
This method not only does not relieve pain, but also increases emotional distress. The feeling of one’s own lack of will complements the already gray picture, pushing one to give up. Having set foot on this path, a person is deprived of the opportunity to reason sensibly, which will certainly lead to defeat.
Therefore, it is worth strictly prohibiting alcohol, drugs and cigarettes. This will not only help you concentrate on finding a solution to the problem, but will also keep you healthy. And, as you know, it is worth its weight in gold. It is much better to get addicted to green tea, it is not only healthy, but can also lift your mood a little.
Awareness is the first step to peace of mind
As stated above, heartache comes in many forms. Therefore, it is important to understand what caused it this time. Having looked into yourself, you should understand your own feelings, how long ago they appeared.
In most cases, the answer lies on the surface, you just have to look a little closer and you will find it. After this, solving the problem will be much easier, because, knowing the enemy by sight, you can build a war strategy.
But sometimes there are several sources of emotional excitement, and they are so closely intertwined that it is difficult to distinguish them from each other. Therefore, even when the main problem is found, you should continue to search, because who knows what else is hidden from view.
Perhaps, at first, such an exploration of one’s own consciousness will not be easy, but you should not stop. Over time, such a practice will become habitual, moreover, the brain will begin to take it for granted, opening access to hidden corners of consciousness.
Not all problems can be solved
Sometimes it is impossible to eliminate the cause of mental pain. For example, you cannot resurrect a dead person, erase memories of a loved one, become someone else at one moment, and so on. What to do then? How to cope with mental pain?
Answer: no way. It is simply impossible to completely get rid of such pain, no matter how much time passes. The only thing that remains is to learn to live with this feeling, to accept it as part of yourself. This will help reduce the pain just enough that you can calmly coexist with it.
Although this does not seem like a very happy prospect, it is still the reality. And accepting it means embarking on the path of getting rid of suffering. This is the only way to get the much-desired peace and begin to experience joyful feelings again.
Eat, sleep and walk
Due to emotional stress, the body weakens, and as a result, problems become more and more difficult to deal with. Therefore, it is very important not to forget about things like sleep, food and walks in the fresh air.
- When going to bed, a person is left alone with his problems, which sometimes makes it very difficult to fall asleep. But you need to understand that without night rest the brain does not work well, which will further aggravate the situation. To fall asleep faster, you should use counting rhymes; they help you to distract yourself and relax.
- Healthy eating. You should not eat stress with anything, otherwise stomach problems will be added to the mental trauma. It is also worth taking care of your daily intake of vitamins and minerals; they will strengthen not only the body, but also the psyche.
- Walks. Even though in times like these you might want to hide from the world, you shouldn’t do that. Small hiking Walking around the area will not only enrich the blood with oxygen, but will also help you unwind a little. The main thing is not to delve into yourself, but to try to catch something new in the surrounding landscape.
Sport is the best doctor
Nothing dispels sadness like active training. Fortunately, in the modern world there are a huge number of all kinds of sports clubs and gyms, so finding the right one won’t be difficult.
Sport can not only distract from current problems, but can also strengthen the will. Will make the mind more resistant to psychological stress and stress. He teaches you to win and overcome your own fears and failures.
The most difficult thing in this method is to take the first step, go out the door and go to the right address. And if you still can’t force yourself, then at least you should start doing exercises in the morning. Even if not much, it will help.
Visits to a psychologist
Experts know how to get rid of mental pain. A qualified psychologist will not only help you find the cause of suffering, but will also suggest the most effective ways her decisions. Unfortunately, many people are afraid of such meetings, because, in their opinion, this is a manifestation of weakness, and sometimes even worse - a mental disorder.
But the reality is that a psychologist can really help. And if you make an effort on yourself and turn to him, you can avoid many problems, including the appearance of depression.
But be that as it may, one thing is important - mental pain exists, and we need to fight it. There are many methods for this, but their essence is one - move forward, no matter what happens.
