Treatment of human dependence. Psychological dependence on man: why arises and how to get rid of it? Methods of combating psychological addiction: Available methods

In this article you will learn everything about how to get rid of dependence on a person. At the heart of the dependence - the absence of its own fullness, completeness, and the desire to fill this missing part by another person. About what is the type of dependence, which is different from love, as well as get rid of dependence on a person and start building only healthy relationships - read in this article.

Learn your type of dependency

I will give the two most common types of dependence:

Dependency as a desire to dissolve in a partner, refusal of own liability and determination. The main idea: "Without you, I do not". Feeling yourself as part of another, feeling that the partner is much better, stronger, more interesting than you. People of this type are prone to masochism.
Dependence as a desire to absorb partner, to rule over it, control it. The main idea: "You are part of me." Desire to dominate the partner, absorb his individuality. People of this type are prone to Sadizm.

All types of dependencies have about the same causes of occurrence. And ways out of this state in healthy relationships are also about the same for all types of dependency.

Causes of addiction

One of the most common causes of the manifestation of relationships in relations is children's unlike. It is believed that the child should love his parents. But at the same time it often happens that mom or dad is punished, insult the child or notice him only when he, in their opinion, deserved attention.

Mom can, for example, send contradictory signals to the child: "I'm punishing you, because I love you" or "I criticized you and humiliate, but only for you to become better, because I love you." The child's instinct is to run to the mother in any situation. She is the most expensive and most valuable thing that he has. She always protects and helps. But if at the same time she insults, humiliates or even beats the child, then he has a distorted idea of \u200b\u200blove. Love in his presentation will be associated with danger, fear, anxiety, negative emotions and feelings.

Such a child learns to push the crumbs of love at Mom (or Pope), and in his head, love it looks like it - it is always a little, and she goes side by side with suffering. The child is taught to the script: "I will suffer a little, suffer, and then my mother will show his love to me. Mom will punish me, insult, will take off, reject, but then I will get long-awaited hugs. "

And the child, without seeing his eyes of another model of love, besides this, begins to think that this is love. So the tendency to dependence is born. A child with such a mother will endure the love given to him in childhood, on love relationship in adulthood. Perhaps he will take on the role of the mother (which is described here), and may remain in the role of a child who squeezes pathetic grains of love. It is also likely that both roles will take with him in an adult life, and will change these two opposite roles with different partners, depending on which partner will be taken.

Differences from Love

Love is a huge resource, thanks to which we grow and develop, feel joy and happiness, we achieve great heights. Dependence is a union in which you cook, like a frog in a saucepan, water in which slowly heats up. At first it will be warm and pleasant to you, but over time you will feel unreasoning. You will hear the alarming bells, but try to close your eyes on them. After some time, you will not even think to jump, go. And all because you were cooked slowly, unobtrusively and unnoticed.

Dependent relations are different from love in that you are suffering and tormented as a frog in a hot pot. The level of your happiness in the relationship is the main indicator of the love of your relationship or dependent. If you feel a happy person in a relationship - then most likely, it is love. And if you suffer most of time in relationships - then most likely, you have a love dependence.

How to get rid of dependence to man - 7 steps:

We figured out what addiction is and how it originates. And now let's discuss how to get rid of dependence on a person. I present to your attention seven effective steps to get rid of dependence. After passing them, you will learn to live a full life and will continue to build only harmonious and healthy relationships:

Step # 1: Realize

The first thing to do to exit the dependency is to realize and accept that you have it. You have to tell your brain firmly and confident that you have addiction, and today you decided to start getting rid of it. This step is no less important than everyone else, because your brain from early childhood is used to thinking that it is love, not addiction. Notify your subconscious about the fact that it was mistaken for a long time, and now you know the whole truth and ready for change.

Step # 2: Take a decision

The next step is the decision to leave toxic relationships in which you are now, or the decision to change yourself, continuing to remain in this union. In case you decide to change, not leaving the relationship, the partner will either pull up to you and will change too (if you are really expensive to him), either fall off like the bark from the old tree.
Because the dependent relationships in the pair always support both partners, their overall dependence is a magnet that keeps them next to each other. And if you change and get rid of addiction, the partner will have nothing to do next to you without the same feeding.

It may be an union, for example, "tyrant-sacrifice" or "Narciss sacrifice". In such a couple, both people perform a role that contributes to maintaining relationships in relations. And if one of the partners suddenly starts to get out of the role of a dependent, then the second will not be deed. He will have to either change the sake of healthy relationship, or get out of this union. Therefore, the second step that you need to do to exit the dependent relationship is to get away from the partner, or to accept that he, remaining not at afford, will most likely leave himself.

Step # 3: Stop tolerate

Dependent people who seek to dissolve in a partner, to become part of it, tend to be "tolerant". When they don't like something, they prefer not to express their discontent out loud and silent in a rag. In order to learn from this habit, you need to learn to say "no", to defend your borders, do not tolerate what you do not like, and if possible, do not do what you do not want.

In order for you to learn this, I wrote for you a book that is a step-by-step instruction to learn to express everything you want to say to keep your borders and gain determination to change any circumstances in your life that you are not satisfied. Passing the tasks on this book, you will learn to defend yourself and understand your true desires and needs. This will inevitably lead to the exit from the dependent relationship. You will become a full-fledged and independent person, which is filled by itself, and needs a relationship only to share joy with a partner. You can read the full description of the book and you can buy it.

Step # 4: Fill out the void

Being in affiliates, you are turned face to a partner and your back to yourself. Your personal life stands for you far from the first place, much more important - the life of your chosen one. So turn 180 degrees and look at your own life. Dependence is when the partner gives you something that you do not give yourself. As if the emptiness is in your soul, and your partner is filled with its presence. This emptiness is from dislike for yourself. Start from today to fill this hole with love. Take a sheet of paper and handle and write a list from what your chosen one gives you. Maybe joy? Feeling of need? Or, for example, care? Gives you a feeling of trembling in the shower?

Try to write a long list, and then look at each item and think when you last gave it to yourself. And not postponing, from today, start to give themselves everything that was not allowed before. Remember: respect, love, interest, care is mutual feelings. Respect only those who respect themselves. Care about those who take care of themselves. Sincerely exhibit in relation to those who are interested in themselves. No one is obliged to love you, even if you do not like yourself. Healthy relations are built on those feelings that each partners can already give themselves. Start respect, love yourself, take care of yourself and show interest. Make yourself with you all that, as you seemed, you could only get only from the partner.

Step # 5: Find out yourself

Start know yourself. To do this, write a list of one hundred things that bring you joy and pleasure, and a list of one hundred "I want." What gives you joy and pleasure? What do you want?

Write these two list (be sure to come in every month of points!). Perhaps you can't do it at a time. But do not think to throw this thing! As soon as you are ready for several items from each list, start daily to include them in your plan. At least one of everyone. Learn to fulfill your desires yourself and deliver joy. So you will gradually come out of the dependency.

Step # 6: Become an independent person

The main problem of dependence is that it is weakly realized by the person himself, and therefore it is so difficult to figure it out. In most cases, such a situation requires the help of a specialist.

I am a psychologist, and spend individual Skype consultations. Together with you in consultation, we can determine what exactly in your life was the reason for the formation of dependent behavior. While these processes are not realized, they seem to manage you, and you cannot do anything about it. But when you learn to understand them and realize, they will be controlled you, and then you will have a choice what to do with it. The awareness of the causes of the dependent behavior will allow you to manage it and free from it. And to realize these reasons to be fully independently impossible.

On one cup of the scales lie fear and excuses, and on the other - freedom and your happy life!

Step # 7: Start building harmonious relationships

In order to get rid of toxic relationships, you can get out of them and learn to love yourself and give yourself the love that you always lacked. But how to check that you have already got rid of the dependent position a hundred percent? If you have not gone from the partner and made a change over ourselves, remaining in the relationship, then your feelings should change the opposite. In relations, there should no longer be the place of suffering. Being with a partner, you should feel easily and free. Happily, joyfully and calmly.

Mature and conscious people are looking for those who can be happy. They are more willing to come into relationships with those who are self-sufficient. Psychologically mature man unconsciously thinks of a potential partner: "If she is happy, she can make happy and me. If she is joyful, then she knows how to generate this joy, and can teach me. "

People and so full of their problems. Conscious people, unlike dependent, come into relationships to become happier. Therefore, after you pass all the proposed steps and you will enter into a new relationship, you will attract the same mature person to yourself, because someone who loves to suffer is nothing to do with those who can generate happiness.

Conclusion

I am glad if you fully read this article, because now you know perfectly, how to get rid of dependence to a person. Start acting immediately, and then you will quite soon forget what to suffer in relationships. Let's summarize:

Realize and accept the fact that you have addiction. Tell your brain that you want to get rid of it, and after that the brain will start looking for opportunities to change the situation
Take the decision to leave the relationship or accept the fact that, perhaps, your partner will leave himself. He was in dependent relationship with you, and when you get free from addiction, he will not have any affairs
Learn to defend your borders and say no. My book, consisting of tasks aimed at going from the dependent relationship, will help you with this. Full Announcement

Write a list from the fact that your partner gives you such what you do not give yourself. Now you are just obliged to start giving it yourself
Make two lists of one hundred points each. In the first write everything that brings you joy, and in the second - I want my own. And start gradually entering all these items in your daily diet. Start giving yourself the right and useful
Start building a new relationship or start tracking your feelings in those relationships in which you are now. How happy are you on a scale from 1 to 100? Do you suffer in this relationship? In this relationship or in the following you must track how much you have changed and is characterized by the position of the dependent person

Subscribe to My. Instagram. and YouTube. channel. Improve and develop yourself with me!

Good luck to you!
Your psychologist Lara Litvinova

Many people, hearing the phrase "psychological dependence,", first of all, think about the thrust to alcohol, drugs or games. These disastrous addictions really form a serious dependence, but this article will be discussed not about them. One of the types of psychological dependence is psychological dependence on humans.

This kind of dependence takes a variety of forms. Most often, when they talk about psychology dependence, imply a love, romantic dependence. However, the variants of this destructive thrust can be a lot - obsession with another person can be directed to the parent, and on a friend, and at the teacher, and even on the screen of the screen. These are more special cases that require a thorough individual study with a psychologist.

The danger of love dependence lies not only in its destructive impact on the relationship and on the psyche of the dependent partner, but also that this state is not considered by many people as a problem. In culture there are many examples of heroic love, in which one of the partners, being obsessed with a feeling, made incredible feats. Unfortunately, in life, such a strong passion turns on only a negative and destructive influence. Nevertheless, the desire to completely dissolve in a partner, fully causing him in whims, to divide everything, up to desires and aspirations (i.e., hazardous signs of love dependence) are built by many of the affairs of partnership behavior.

Reasons from a loved one, different schools of psychology are represented in different ways. Some suggest that such a pattern of behavior is laid in infancy, if the child cannot get enough heat and care from the mother.

Others tend to blame in the psychological dependence of society and culture. It was already mentioned above that the image of pathologically lovers of heroes is overly romanticized, which gives an unhealthy model for behavior. Another idea of \u200b\u200bthe influence of culture is a historically defined image of a woman who is obliged to love one single prince without memory and to please in every way. That is why addiction in psychology is primarily a female problem.

A more definite reason for the emergence of psychological dependence in a particular person consider problems with building their own borders. This means that a person vaguely imagines, where it ends and where the competence of its influence begins. He cannot say with confidence what desire his own, and which they imposed mom, dad, spouse, boss, etc. He vaguely feel possession of his own body, for example, can not refuse his beloved person in intimate and physical contact, even when not Wants him. Such a person is completely absorbed by the personality of his partner, because his self is in the ghostly uncertainty.

Another probable reason for the occurrence of dependence is to experience the loss of a loved one. If a person was deep or leaving a relative or friend, it may forever impose an imprint of fear of loss for him, because of what a person becomes pinching, overly pleasing and directs all his strength to maintain close contact with the object of passion.

Manifestations of human dependence and ways to treat

Human dependence Psychology identifies the following features:

the victim of painful attachment loses interest in everything, except for the object of its passion. Work, hobbies, rest move into the background, the first is the desire to always be with the beloved and please him in everything;
the dependent person voluntarily refuses his interests and desires. For him, there is only the desires of his beloved, their own aspirations disappear and dissolve;
the victim of dependencies will drive the relationship in the "vicious circle". The constant desire to be near the beloved partner repels the partner, as a result of which the dependent person seeks to please and impose even stronger. All this is accompanied by a mutual deterioration of the mental state and the growth of negative experiences;
the dependent partner has neurotic symptoms bordering psychosis: permanent mood swings, desperate longing during periods out of communication with the beloved (even if they last long time), somatic manifestations (worsening health, decrease in immunity, interruptions in the heart of the heart) ,;
psychological dependence requires constant emotional reinforcement from the partner. The dependent person loses his identity so much that it becomes incapable of making his own solutions - even household problems of ways to introduce it into a stupor.

Most often, these manifestations of unhealthy relations see friends and relatives of a dependent person. However, their criticism and comments, the addict (dependent) itself reacts violently - does not recognize problems in relations, denies its own inconvenience and soreness. As a result, relationship with everyone, except the lover, break.

The paradox is that it is possible to treat dependent relationships only when the victim of these relations understands that it is bad in them, uncomfortable and that it cannot continue to continue. Well, if at this moment there will be a close relative or a friend with her next to her who will gently bring it to this thought and send it to a consultation to a psychologist.

Without a psychologist, get rid of pathological relations is extremely difficult. First of all, according to this reason, the victim does not understand its position, and the advice of friends and relatives is responsible to the violent protest and conflict. In addition, all the reasons for addicts are different, and without a psychologist, it is almost impossible to detect and work.

The main work in the person, consists in raising the value of the life of the victim of dependence in her own eyes. It is necessary to teach a person to understand that he is an independent, mature person, which can make decisions and be a holistic being even in the separation from its partner.

The main acquisition that the client should appear after working with a psychologist is a reasonable egoism. A person must begin to love and respect himself, take care of himself and listen to his own feelings and desires, and not to replace them with the desires of others. Optionally, dependent relations must end with a complete gap (although in many cases this is the only option to keep the psyche to both partners). It is often necessary to involve into therapy and an object of dependence, which is high quality and deeply change their unhealthy concept.

Stages of development of psychological dependence

Psychological dependence on any object - no matter, whether it is alcohol, drugs or beloved spouse - develops in absolutely identical patterns. Several stages of the formation of psychological dependence are distinguished:

No dependence. Normal, harmonious relations, where partners have equal rights, recognize themselves with mature personalities, represent value for each other and for themselves.
Care of dependent relationships. A person resorts to manipulations, control, seeks to always be close to the beloved, so as to soak their own psychological conflicts. The first signs of identity degradation are manifested - understated self-esteem, instability of an emotional background, difficulty in planning their own life, concentration on relationships.
Problems due to relationships. The victim of dependence narrows the circle of loved ones and acquaintances. Behavior becomes more rapid and compulsive, control and refurbishment acquire a total character. Characteristic, primitive children's logic, inflexible installations. A person denies the presence of a problem, but at the same time he is constantly experiencing a guilt for those relations that have developed because of his behavior.
Problems inside the relationship. Painful affection ceases to satisfy and bring positive emotions, but the idea is to leave their partner, terrify and scare addict. He feels merging with a partner almost at the physical level, while he starts to get tired of such behavior and avoid contacts. The victim of dependence becomes indifferent and apatichna to everything, except for its connection with his beloved person.

Before talking about how to get rid of psychological addiction, it should be noted that in mentally healthy people, the development of dependent relationships rarely goes on the second stage without the beginning of a critical assessment of the situation. Often as soon as a person faces problems, he seeks to solve them, even through a painful gap with the object of passion. It is only necessary to wait for your client who is ready for work, and make experiences less painful (if it is no longer possible to establish healthy relationships).

However, there is another situation associated with such a phenomenon as a border disorder of personality. This is already the competence of a psychiatrist. In some cases, psychotic symptoms are so strong that the psychotherapy can also be carried out by psychotherapy. The problem with the "border guards" is that it is impossible to achieve cure (PRL - the disease included in the ICD-10) in their case - it is possible to go into a long, high-quality remission. People of such a personality warehouse, prone to persecution and painful attachment, are practically unable to get rid of pathological passion, but they can compensate for it, learning more adaptive forms of thinking and behavior.

Psychological dependence on humans: how to get rid of

Earlier it has already been said that it is necessary to get rid of the relationship with a psychologist. However, in order to bring the victim to the Cabinet for a consultation, it follows (to it or from the outside) to ask several questions:

what I want;
what are my goals;
what I like;
i need it or a partner.

If all questions appear the opinion or mention of a partner, then this serious reason to think about how with the help of psychology of relations to get rid of love dependence on a man (or a woman).

Working with a psychologist is based on the principle of building value of self. The task of a psychologist is to find an internal resource in a person, help him believe in himself and love himself. Then it is necessary to help the client build the boundaries of his personality. That he could understand where he himself, and where is another person, where his desires and needs, but where other people's. It is necessary to explain and distinguish the concept of dependence and partnership.

Therapy can be carried out by various methods - with the involvement of a partner or without, with bodily-oriented practices, gestalt therapy, cognitive, etc. Committed methods depends on the preferences of a psychologist and from the case with which he faces, consulting the client.

How to get rid of love dependency - Practical recommendations of psychologists

The psychology of relations sees several ways to get rid of love dependent on a man. To do this, a woman should be aware of several items:

The family is not the only purpose of the woman. The role of spouse is not the limit and not the only definition for a woman. A woman can be a stunning traveler, photographer, artist, hostess, and all this without a man. At least without someone from whom it feels an unhealthy dependence. To get out of painful relationships and enter into new ones (or it is understood that without a relationship to live is also quite comfortable) - this does not mean losing its human value.
Be one is not scary. To be independent - not scary. A person can cope with anything, and if he doesn't work alone - there are children, relatives, friends, colleagues, and just a lot of good and good people, ready to help. Stay without a man is not a death sentence. To be responsible for their decisions and deeds is good, not a cross.
"I" should be the first letter of your alphabet. First of all, you are not a wife, no sister, not daughter and not a friend. First of all, you are you. The unique identity with its set of qualities, which no one else has, and will not be except you. With its goals, interests and hobbies. You present the value by yourself, as a separate person, and not only as a performer of a certain social role.
To have your own opinion, hobbies and a circle of communication is not a betrayal. As Irwin I wrote, "Mature love says:" I can live without you, but I love you and I want to be nearby. " The harmonious relations of two healthy people are at the intersection of their personalities, and do not try to absorb each other.

The path to how to get rid of, every woman has its own. The psychologist only helps to send the client by choosing exactly the scenario that is suitable for him. It is possible to come to the exit of the problem independently, however, often the path to harmony without the guidance of a professional mentor can be difficult to be difficult, despair and apathy.

I often hear such a question from people who appeal to a psychologist for the first time.

In our narcissistic time, now everyone wants to receive quick results:

➽ quickly get married

➽ quickly earn a million rubles

Imagine now myself this is the situation:

A man comes in a fitness club and says to the coach: "I would need to lose weight in a kilogram for 30, and then, after I drop the weight, I needed to get down. I want to have a beautiful body - so that the ass was like Orechek and cubes still I want on my stomach. But the main thing - I need to quickly! For vacation. Stark for 2-3 visits to the gym. How do I quickly put yourself in order? "

Sounds ridiculous and ridiculous. Truth? \u003d)

None of a sensible person will voiced by such a request. Especially if his body has never been familiar with sports and saved it on himself these extra kilograms of 30-40-50 years ...

Sensible people understand that for achieving such goals will be needed months, and then years of regular work on themselves.

But what about psychological work on oneself - everything is not so obvious here. A person comes to a psychologist for the first time and brings a kilogram of 30 extra psychological protection, low-adaptive installations worked out before the autmatism of behavior patterns, a bunch of depressed and displaced feelings. And asks to save them from him as 2-3 meetings. But he, too, all this was collected for himself 30-40-50 years ... and get rid of it wants for several meetings ...

And when a psychologist explains that the request is not real, many begin to be angry, swear, blame in fraud and in extorting money ...

Here with such difficulties, we are confronted daily in the process of working with client requests.

Therefore, trainings like:

➽ How to get married for three months

➽ How to earn a million for six months

➽ How to get rid of excess weight in 30 days

Very well sold! And the fact that as a result of 99% of students does not reach the promised result - this is already silent by coaches ...

And non-market psychotherapy, where we offer a long, difficult, painstaking work on yourself, naturally, so far not very in demand ... but it gives results. Only not fast!

But gives! And this is good news! Gradually, in the process of therapy, a person begins to feel better, calmer, begins to slowly solve problems that were not solved for years ... and then it becomes apparent that it is more important not the speed, but awareness and motivation to change.

Moreover, I notice that if the client fuses and wants to speed up the processes - he cannot focus on and constantly "dropping" in one place ...

Yes, of course, some customer problems can be solved for 2-3 meetings. But this, as a rule, situational tasks, not involving the transformation of the individual personality, and requiring simple answers to questions: "What is exactly now, in this situation can be done to" extinguish the fire "?", Or quickly reduce the severity of experiences.

But most of the requests require at least short-term therapy - about 10 meetings to get a tangible result. And this is 2.5 months of work (classical international practice - 1 meeting per week). But even this seems to be too long for many ...

And then people want quickly, but not quickly ...

I remember a joke in such situations:

Why are Chukchi in the morning potatoes put the potatoes, and in the evening already digging?

I want to eat ...

But so we will not grow anything ... True?

Therefore, when I ask a similar question: "How to quickly get rid of psychological problems," he sounds like a similar question to the fitness coach: "How to quickly get rid of extra kilograms and lead yourself?". Or: "How to grow potatoes in one day?"

And I honestly answer: I do not know ...

Psychological dependence on another person in psychiatry has a clear definition - addiction. On the one hand, attachment to the close is a social factor, without which it is impossible to live in the conditions of society. On the other hand, this condition can become intrusive and take a pathological look. The severity of the situation is that too pronounced addicts can lead to a personality disorder and entail the development of serious psychiatric diseases. As an object of affection, there may be the face of the opposite sex or a close and native person, for example, mother, child. The obsessive state is characterized by total control, loss of self-control and pathological burden to constantly finding nearby.

Psychological dependence: what is it and why arises?

Love, care, joy and many other positive feelings give communication with loved ones. The dependence is able to cross all the wonderful, turning an adequate relationship in an obsessive state. Pathological attachment and inexplicable traction to the object is a physical and psychological imbalance. Scientists have proven that it is characterized by a habit that over time is able to turn into reflex perception from the central nervous system. Further development of deviation is regulated at an intuitive level, dependent loses control over his actions and actions. You can cope with a similar state, only rearing the mechanism of occurrence and the true cause.

Types of psychological dependence

In psychology, three main types of dependence are distinguished:

from parents;
from friends and circle of communication;
from a loved one.

From the moment of birth and until the complete completion of the formation of the personality, the individual is in dense contact with his parents. Each child needs support, which is associated with economic and psychological factors. The first few years of life addiction is regulated on an instinctive level. In the future, a more subtle psychological connection arises. As the child grows, the child is needed in a personal space, moving away from his parents.

Normally, after the final formation of a person's character, as an independent individual, he begins to live his own interests. Mother and father let him go to the social space. If you are not able to stop the psychological dependence between parents and the son or daughter in a timely manner, it may entail serious consequences. In this situation, not everything is due to the behavior of children. Hyperoppe and hyperzabote from parents encourage the development of the inability of a young man to adapt to real life.

Psychological dependence on friends arises as a result of the fact that the individual cannot independently exist in the social environment. The cause can be uncertainty, understated self-esteem, unwillingness to make independent decisions. In this case, the attachment is focused on dependence on the opinions of others. The individual is looking for support from the side, which finds the person of his friends. As a rule, such people strive for stronger personalities capable of leading forward and take on the whole level of responsibility. Psychological dependence in such a situation may entail the development of relations based on manipulation.

Dependence on the object of love is one of the most serious. To cope with it on its own difficult even very strong personalities. A classic picture, familiar to many, often develops in married couples, where the wife suits total control over a man and tries to spend all his free time next to him. Her personal interests and needs in self-realization are oppressed, everything that happens is rotating exclusively around her husband. Sometimes partners strive for such affections even out of marriage, at the very beginning of the development of relations.

The presence of psychological dependence on his beloved person is often taken for true love. It should be borne in mind that sincere feelings bring joy and satisfaction from life. Any emotional discomfort and tension talk about the presence of pathological attachment, from which you need to get rid of.

How to determine pathological dependence?

To identify pathological dependence will help monitor the sensations and the common state of the organism. It is necessary to timely determine the presence of such a state, because it is not capable of bringing positive emotions and personal happiness. The dependent person is characterized as a mentally ill and emotionally unanimous. The whole range of his hobbies closes around the object of desires, he ceases to be interested in social life and productively act in conditions of its interests. Basic signs of deviation:

1. In the presence of psychological dependence, the general behavior of a person and its worldview change radically. He is characterized by sharp differences of the mood, from Euphoria to signs of depression. Each contact with the object of affection, even completely short and unproductive, leads the patient to a strong emotional burst. The absence of communication is able to lead to a despondency.
2. All thoughts of the patient are reduced to the search for the meeting. Its interests goes to the background. A person begins to think as an object of addiction, even to the detriment of himself.
3. Over time, there is a loss of self borders. Accumulated suffering, pain and experiences are able to lead to the development of chronic stress. Positive emotions from the meeting are gradually retreating, the desire for total control is growing. An insurmountable thrust appears constantly next to, this behavior leads to an inevitable rejection from the opposite side, resulting in disappointment and exacerbation of the state. This situation can be described as a "vicious circle", where every new round aggravates the mental and physical health of the dependent.
4. Gradually increases tensions, anxiety and may appear panic attacks. In accordance with the severity of the state, the severity of the mental disorder will be different.
5. The physiological disorders occur. The patient begins to experience permanent headache, dizziness, problems with sleep, interruptions in the work of the heart, neurological symptoms and aggravation of chronic diseases.
6. The failure of his self leads to the inability to take ordinary everyday solutions. A hike to the store is able to lead to the state of the stupor. A person is not able to make a choice without learning the opinion of his opponent. This is especially characteristic of the development of pathology regarding parents or friends. It is extremely important for him to get approval from the object of addiction.

How to get rid of the pathological condition?

In some cases, it is not possible to cope with psychological addiction. This is caused by the seriousness of the situation, when a person is not able to adequately evaluate what is happening and give a real assessment by his actions. Psychology practitioners call on patients with suspicion of such disorders to hold self-analysis and work on their own consciousness.

Only the person who understands and accepts its presence can independently cope with the problem. In the first stages of self-treatment, it is necessary to understand its position in relation to the world around. Own worldview and interests of interest should be reduced exclusively to personal needs. The inability to translate accents from the object of desire to speak about the inability to cope with this deviation. For each person in the first place is self-realization.

Methods of personal recovery

This technique was developed by Uangold and Berry psychologists. It consists of 12 points, each of which helps to get closer to recovery without the help of psychoanalyst:

1. The problem is needed. Even if working with a psychotherapist, it is not possible to power this step. As in the treatment of any other type of addiction, a person needs awareness of an obsessive state and a frank desire to overcome it.
2. The following is the search for the cause. Any kind of dependence implies certain factors provoking the occurrence of disorder. In some cases, it is quite realistic to find and eliminate them. Attachment to parents is usually fueled from their side. Here it is necessary to abandon the hypertext and begin to live in conditions of complete independence. In case of habit of friends, you need to understand your own personality, achieve adequate self-esteem and independent functioning in the social environment. As for love affection, everything is more complicated here. From person, a clear understanding of what is attracted to him in a particular representative of the opposite sex and is really a partner meets all the requirements that are presented to it.
3. It is necessary to conduct a complete analysis of the occurrence of symptoms and try to open this vicious circle.
4. You need to learn how to adequately perceive the reality, there are no hile in the current situation, at this stage work on my own personality and its continuous development plays a major role.
5. The next step requires revaluation of the worldview. It is necessary to stop idealize opponent and stop independently striving for perfection in everything. To completely get rid of addiction, it is necessary to overcome the feeling of perfectionism, which can be imposed by the desire for the ideal. It is very important to abandon stereotypical thinking and sort out our own needs.
6. Next, it is necessary to refuse to manipulate the emotions of others in order to obtain the desired result.
7. It is very important to learn how to specifically express, build clear plans for the future and orient the situation exclusively on yourself.
8. It is necessary to stop shying their true emotions and feelings. Surrounding, provided that they are truly native and relatives, will always understand and provide proper support. If the opponent does not assist any assistance and shows his full indifference, it only speaks of his removal. The dependent should urgently eliminate such people from their environment.
9. It is required to reconsider their own life attitudes and direct them to the right direction. An adequate assessment of his own opinion, an emotional background, true desires and feelings is important.
10. Every person has a personal space, the invasion into which can lead to indignation. At this stage, it is necessary to hold such a border for yourself and evaluate its presence among others. This will avoid conflict situations and a certain misunderstanding in conversations with loved ones.
11. Expansion of communication circle. It should go beyond the familiar, especially from the conditions of the loop at a particular object. New acquaintances and fascinating communication are capable not only to distract from the situation, but also to speed up the process of personal growth.
12. At the final stage, it is important to feel the harmonious balance between your inner world and the surrounding environment.

The inability to fully go through all the stages and get rid of psychological dependence on any person talks about the pronounced form of pathology. In this case, you need to contact a specialist. It will help to identify the true cause and free from pathological thrust.

Effective ways for self-training

There are other effective ways that the use of which is justified and without the participation of a specialist. Many psychoanalysts recommend starting from them. In the process of therapy, some of these techniques also have to contact. The following methods are used to get rid of dependence:

1. It is necessary to destroy everything that is capable of reminding the past relations, including photos, symbolic figurines, contacts, gifts and personal addiction objects.
2. It is necessary to stop communicating with common familiar. At the subconscious level of the conversation with a person who has the ability of the same communication with the object of addiction becomes obsessive. There is an invisible connection with the past. Each meeting can provoke a new round of relationships and bring to other thoughts and the development of attachment again, even after complex psychotherapy.
3. A good way is to search for shortcomings in the object of adoration. To do this, it is necessary to write all the negative sides of the opponent on a sheet of paper, gradually translating them from personal characteristics to the overall negative impact on their own life. This list can be conducted for a long time until the arguments are completely running out. At first it will seem that even these shortcomings are not particularly important, but as it gets rid of the dependence of the arguments will be more serious. Rereading them, the patient is once again able to realize the seriousness of the situation and decide on the cardinal actions.
4. Due to the fact that the thoughts about the partner occupy almost the whole mind, it is necessary to find a new passion. For many people, work is good in advance. Especially if this contributes to a friendly and friendly team. Do not neglect corporate parties and a proposal to go on a business trip. In addition to an emotional burst, it can also provide the possibility of moving through the career ladder.
5. In a new life, nothing should remind of past unsuccessful relationships. Often psychologists recommend revising their appearance and visit the fashionable stylist. The updated appearance and change of the image pushing to the desire to experience alien to this emotion. There is a need to be in the center of attention among the opposite sex. In order to correct the figure or to increase the health level of the body, you can sign up in sports sections, preferably command type. Similar hobbies will not only help change the image, but will lead to new acquaintances.
6. It is necessary to put an interesting goal or to be executed. A good motivation for the concentration on their own life will be the fulfillment of a certain task, which will increase self-esteem and bring a lot of positive emotions. It is better to build short-term plans, the implementation of which is stacked in one year. For example, this is a fascinating vacation associated with the journey, or buying a car, etc.

Autogenous training

The specifics of this technique lies in self-sufficiency. After the development of chronic stress and depressive obsessive states, the dependent person perceives the reality very hard, not always able to recognize the presence of a problem. For this purpose, autogenic workouts are being introduced, in the process of which the psychotherapist imposes a new stereotyped thinking into a patient.

Key phrases contain exclusively positive emotions. A person begins to concentrate on his inner consciousness, to realize himself as a full and independent person. As a result, the patient adequately perceives himself in relation to society. It opens up again for comprehensive and multifaceted communication, ready to take love of loved ones, becomes self-sufficient. Installations for suggestion are selected in each specific situation individually. The patient is necessary for a minimum of 7-10 times to repeat each of them. In the process of treatment, the phrase may vary, only their positive attitude remains unchanged.

Wrong tactics

Psychological dependence is able to lead to serious physiological and psychiatric problems. Since such a condition is often perceived as true love, the dependent person is beginning to drive himself into the framework and take what is happening for due. The reasoning that this is the only love and it is unhappy, wrong. Every person must remember that this feeling should bring positive and bright emotions. Even undivided sympathy should not coal a person, since respect from the opponent is a prerequisite for adequate relationships.

It is not necessary to look for a solution in an uncontrolled method of sedatives, alcohol and drugs. In addition to the emotional tension, a person risks to get a strongest dependence. Alcoholism and drug addiction will only exacerbate the situation. It is impossible to refuse the main kind of activity. Study, work, personal development and hobbies should be present in the life of every person. They are necessary for self-realization.

The body can not be deceived, and what we hide from others and from our own consciousness remains in it in the form of tension. Such chronic tension of the muscles of the body is called "muscular shell", which imperceptibly makes his misfortune:

It spends a large amount of energy, which means that a person is constantly experiencing her shortage;

The tense muscles move the blood vessels, and in those places where the muscular shell is located, the organs of the organs are constantly inconvulmed nutrients and oxygen, divergent blood, the metabolism is disturbed, which, in turn, leads to the weakening of the organs and to various diseases;

The human body becomes split.

The elimination of muscle clips is achieved through:

Energy accumulation;
- direct impact on chronic muscle blocks (massage);

The expression of the released emotions that are detected at the same time;

Spontaneous movements, dancetherapy, relaxation exercises, yoga, qigong, holotropic breathing, etc.;

1. Eyes

The protective shell is manifested in the immobility of the forehead and the "empty" eye expression, which, as it were, are looking due to a fixed mask. The dissolution is carried out by opening the eye as widely as soon as possible to use eyelids and forehead; Gymnastics for the eyes.

2. Rot

Compressed mouth blocks all the transmission of feelings. But it is the mouth that is the very first communication channel. We kiss those who want to express our tenderness and love.

When we prohibit ourselves to feel the longing of love, based on the sad experience, which tells us that love can only bring pain and disappointment, this retention of the natural need of a person is reflected in the center of the mouth. The same thing happens when we prohibit ourselves to express our feelings. A compressed mouth leads to a violation of communication, and all together - to dissatisfaction with life.

To relax the blocks around the mouth, it is necessary to systematically perform the following exercise.

Lie in the embryo pose, that is, lying on the side, tighten your knees, fold your hands, crossed them on your chest. About this pose they say more "Cut by the Kalachik". Start making sucks with lips. Do it as long as possible - until the lips can suck. After that, relax and lie a little more.

During this exercise, many people start crying. This is because it rises and the long-deployed longing of caresses and security begins to leave. Do not hold back in any way. Blowing with all body is useful. It helps to discharge the accumulated negative tension not only around the mouth, but in the whole body. Children are always sobbing whole - from head to feet.

3. throat and neck

The voltage ring in the throat area corresponds to unconscious protection against the forced "swallowing" unpleasant. At the same time, this is the unconscious preservation of control over the sense of fear, protection against those feelings and reactions that, according to a person, can be condemned and unacceptable for others.

Snapped jaws overlap any sound trying to break out. Voice ligaments are closed by the same ring. The sound of voices creates the impression that a person speaks hard, it is difficult for him to give a different intonation sound. Sometimes the voice becomes monotonous, sometimes supreme or hoarse, and sometimes too high. This is because the muscles involved in sound formation becomes larger.

A compressed lower jaw is equivalent to the words "they will not pass." A person as if he does not want to allow unwanted people to him, but also to let those who live in the soul also does not want. It is closed and cannot accept changes that are inevitable in life.

When the body needs more energy, for example, when he is tired or wants to sleep, the mouth should be widely open for a more complete breathing. It is for this that we yawning. When yawning, the voltage ring, which includes the muscles leading the jaw, is temporarily released, and it acts on the mouth, a throat and throat, wide opening them to skip the required air. Therefore, to relax jaws, you need to yawn.

Wide open mouth and yawn. Make it in the morning, day and evening.

The blocks in the jaws arise because of the desire to bite the desire that at the psychological level means the deterrence of impulses of anger.

Take a measure of the elastic and moderately soft ball. You can use specially designed dog-toys. You can take a twisted towel. Bite with all the power. At the same time, grow out, pull the toy from your own teeth, but do not weaken the bite. Invest all the rage in this process, the whole anger, which gathered in your soul. When you get tired, relax the jaws. At this time, the lower jaw will drop, the mouth will be awarded.

Here are two more ways to remove the voltage in the lower jaw.

Lower the lower jaw. Put on the chewing muscles at the angle of the lower jaw. If the muscles are strongly tense, it can be painful. Regularly ignite, remember these muscles, which contributes to their relaxation.

Pick forward the chin forward and hold it in this position for 30 seconds. Reliable with strained jaw to the right, left, holding it advanced forward. Then open your mouth as wide as possible and mark, whether you can reveal it so that there are one of the middle fingers of the palm from the teeth.

During this exercise, you can feel anxiety or increasing anger. It's good. Many people do not decide to unlock their emotions because of fear can not cope with surgery feelings. But it is the emission of feelings in special conditions (for example, when performing an exercise) makes this process safe and very useful. In many people, the tension of the muscles of the chin does not allow them to widely disclose the mouth.

Jaws are energetically associated with eyes. The voltage in the lower jaw reduces the influx of energy to the eyes and reduces the visual capabilities. The expression "extinct eyes" has a literal meaning: the lack of nutrients, in particular due to blocking in the jaw, affects the cornea of \u200b\u200bthe eye, and it becomes less brilliant. And in the opposite direction: chronically contained crying leads to tension in the jaw. That is why the execution of exercises for exemption from clamps is often accompanied by crying.

Due to the desire to scream from pain and fear, blocks in voice bundles arise. Therefore, the best way to unlock clips in the throat is a loud and long cry.

If you have the opportunity to shout that there are urine (for example, in the forest or in the country, when there is no one nearby), shout. Scream about your sufferings, about your anger and disappointments. Do not need to vote words. Let it be a single sound, with a force leaving your throat.

Often such a cry goes into sobs. This is due to unlocking emotions and is very useful. Many people can not afford the cry - the conditions do not allow, or the clips are so strong that the cry does not work. Then you can perform the following exercise.

However, only the exercises for the neck and throat cannot get rid of all blockages caused by the holding of emotions. The next body of muscle clamps is at the chest level.

4. Chest

Breast segment: wide breast muscles, shoulder muscles, blades, chest and hands. Holds laughter, sadness, passion. Respiratory deterrence is a means of suppressing any emotion. The shell is dismissed by working on breathing,

Many people have a chest not moving together with breathing. And breathing itself is superficial and frequent either surface and uneven. There are delays in the breath or in exhalation. Pulling the chest is a challenge form, disobedience, as if the body says: "I will not let you get closer to me." In other people, the chest is compressed and never breaks out completely. In the language of bodily metaphor, this means: "I am depressed and can not take from life what she offers me."

Breast belt clamps cause respiratory disorders. And any difficulty in the respiratory process also cause fear. When a person is not aware of the true cause of fear, he becomes anxious and is looking for this reason in the surrounding world.

To check if you have breathing problems, do the following exercise.

In a position sitting on a chair, say to your usual voice: "A-A-A", looking at the second clock arrow. If you are not able to keep the sound for 20 seconds, it means that you have breathing problems.

You can relax the muscular ring around the chest using a breathing exercise. Such a way of breathing is named Lowen - a psychotherapist who has developed a lot of different techniques of body-oriented therapy. There is a special chair for such breathing. But at home, Lowen breathing can be performed as described in the exercise. Experience showed that it does not become less efficient.

Lie the sofa across the sofa so that the stops without shoes stand on the floor, and the buttocks were slightly swallowed. Under the lower back, put a roller (for example, you can tightly roll the roller with a cotton blanket) so that the chest is the most deployed, head and back - below the lower back. Hands put over his head palms.

Start deep and rarely breathe. Often it is impossible to breathe, it will be another breathing technique, which is performed only with the assistant, as side effects may occur. Breathe for 30 minutes. If suddenly you start crying, or sob to the whole body, or laugh - do not confuse. This is a good reaction, testifying to the release of depressed emotions blocked in muscle clamps.

When muscle clips relax, the energy is released and seeks to go out. That is why it is so important not to restrain the emerging reactions, but to give them free to leak. After all, if you hold back them, they will not be reacted again and form a muscular clamp again. You can spin your head - lie quietly after doing the exercise, while dizziness does not pass. At first, you may want to sleep after doing this exercise - Speakers, if there is such an opportunity, but only after doing exercise. Your feelings or reactions can change.

Tingling, twitching and other sensations in your hands, legs, back may appear. Maybe you will want to knock your legs. In general, sensations and reactions can be the most different. Do not resist them, just watch them.

Do this exercise every day throughout the time of your self-therapy. After some time, you yourself will feel what kind of positive impact is this technique of breathing.

5. Diafragma

This is a diaphragm, solar plexus, internal organs, muscles of vertebrae of this level. The shell is expressed in the campaign of the spine. Exhalation turns out to be harder to inhale (like with bronchial asthma). Muscular block holds a strong anger. It is necessary to largely dissolve the first four segments before proceeding to the dissolution of it.

Also, if fear becomes chronic, the diaphragm is in constant voltage, creating respiratory problems and provoking the appearance of predisposition to the experience of fear. Thus, a vicious circle occurs. Fear gives rise to a diaphragm clamp, and the clamp generates anxiety.

The diaphragm is located above the waist, which connects the chest with belly and pelvis. Muscular clamps in this area create interference to pass the flow of blood and feelings to genitals and feet, causing anxiety, which, in turn, leads to a disruption of breathing. And then again the same vicious circle.

Conclusion from all this is only one: it is necessary to relax chronic clamps and freeing the accumulated fear.

In order to check how much your waist is chosen or free, make the following exercise.

Perform this exercise standing. Put the stops in parallel, the knees are slightly bent, the severity of the body is slightly shifted forward. Raise your hands with bent elbows to the height of the shoulders. Brushes freely hung. Turn the body to the lowest possible and hold in this position for about a minute. Then turn the body to the right and stay in this position for about a minute. Pay attention to the muscle tension of the back and waist. Is you able to inhale the lower part of the abdomen in this position?

If the breath is broken, and the muscles are too tense or you have pain in them, it means that a muscular shell has developed around the diaphragm and waist area.

To remove chronic muscle voltage in the waist area, the best way is Lowen's breathing, the execution technique of which you already know. In addition, it is useful to systematically perform the following exercises.

Lie on the floor on the back, hands on the hand palms up, legs together. Bend the legs in the knees at an angle of 90 °. Turn both legs first to the left, so that the bottom (left) leg is completely on the floor, and the right lies on it; Legs remain bent in the knees. Then, turn the legs to the right. At the same time, the spin to the waist remains pressed to the floor. Repeat the exercise up to 10 times.

Now perform the previous exercise, complicating it. When you turn the legs turn your head in the opposite direction. This exercise also perform up to 10 times.

Stand on all fours, knees at an angle of 90 °, hands that you rely, keep straight. Get back in the waist area down, as far as possible, and then attach the back as much as possible up. Do up to 10 such movements.

Stand on all fours as it is described in the previous exercise. Then slowly pull the straightened hands and the housing forward, gliding on the floor until they are completely fallen on the floor. Your pose will resemble a ponching cat. Stay some time in this position and slowly tighten your hands into the original position. Make this exercise several times (as much as you master).

Sit on the floor, the legs are slightly bent in your knees and apart. Put the palm on the head. Tilt the body to the left, trying to elbow as much as possible to the floor (perfect version, if he touches the floor). Stay in this position for a while. Then slowly straighten up and repeat the same in the right side.

Despite the fact that these exercises help to remove the clips around the waist, they are not enough for liberation from "clusters" of the clusters. Fear can only be released through the liberation of the blocked anger. The emission of anger in the field in special ways makes it safe because it is no longer copied, and it is discharged in a timely manner. The blocking belt of the clips around the waist disrupts the integrity of the processes occurring in the body makes it divided. The upper and lower part of the two different people belong to two different people. In some, the upper body is well developed, and the pelvis and legs are small, as if immature. Other pelvis has a complete round, but the upper half of the body is small and narrow. Or the upper half can be rigid and elastic, and the bottom soft and passive. Such a body development speaks of the inconsistency of the "upper" and "lower" feelings.

6. Belly

Abdominal muscles and back muscles. The stress of lumbar muscles is associated with the fear of the attack. Muscular clamps on the sides are associated with the suppression of anger, dislike. The dissolving of the shell in this segment is relatively not difficult if the upper segments are already open.

7. Taz

Includes all muscles pelvis and lower extremities. The stronger the muscle spasm, the more the pelvis stretch back. Buttock muscles are tense and painful. The pelvic shell serves as an excitation, anger, pleasure.